Page 25 of Recipe for Romance

There were other teachers, other ways for her to learn, but she just didn’t have the fight left to try more than she already had. Aiden knew her, was already familiar with her ADHD, her quirks and messiness, and he had been taught by her father. It wasn’t like learning from the man himself, but it was as close as she was ever going to get. Nicole had let herself get distracted,again.It was a pattern with her, a pattern that she needed to break.

Pulling back, Nicole blinked up at Aiden. She wasn’t sure what expression was on her face, but he stared down at her with lust, then concern, and finally resignation. Wincing, he turned to the side and scowled at the television before reaching between the couch cushions. He pulled out a remote and muted the device, sitting up and pulling her along with him.

Raking a hand through his messy, dark hair, he turned to her with a sad smile. “We’re not doing this, are we?”

Clasping her hands together tightly, Nicole looked away from him to steel herself, her eyes landing on the television.Gravy Trainplayed on the screen. At least she hadn’t been going insane and her hearing her father’s voice had been real. As Nicole watched the man who refused to mentor her show a young woman how to mince or chop an onion, she still wasn’t sure which was which despite Aiden telling her dozens of times, her eyes watered.

Sighing, she turned back to Aiden and watched the light slowly fade from behind his eyes as her own began to well with more tears. “No. We’re not.” He nodded, his shoulder slumping. Nicole reached over and took his hand in hers, needing to reassure him. “Not for the reasons you might think.”

One dark brow raised in question. “We’re not stopping because you don’t think your father wouldn’t approve of it? Because I’m too old for you?”

Nicole nearly laughed. If only it were that simple. And too old? She looked at Aiden. He had a few strands of silver near his temples and frown lines that would no doubt deepen with age, but he didn’t look old to her. If anything, she was more attracted to his distinguished look than any of the more baby-faced men she’d been with in the past. “I don’t care about either of those things, though if you do I would understand.”

Aiden slid his fingers through Nicole’s hair, the light tug against her scalp grounding her when she felt like she might scatter into a million pieces from feeling too much. “I don’t.” She looked at him, seeing the conviction in his eyes, but confusion soon clouded it out. “So why are we stopping?”

Nicole sighed. “It is because of my father, but not because I care about whether or not he would approve,” she explained. Nicole glanced down, noting the thin scars on Aiden’s hand and began tracing them lightly with her fingers before she met his gaze again. “I have enough of a hard time focusing as it is, and I can’t let you distract me, as much fun as that would be. I have to do this, Aiden. I have to become a chef, and you’re the only one who can help me.”

Aiden scoffed. “There are hundreds of cooking schools and plenty of other chefs who would give you a shot, especially if your father asked them to.”

It was something Nicole had told herself again and again, and while she didn’t feel up for spilling her inner thoughts all over the place, he wouldn’t really get it unless she did. “I know,” she breathed out. “But traditional school has always been hard for me, and I don’t want another chef, I want you.” In more ways than one, but that wasn’t something she couldn’t let happen. “Not only are you insanely gifted when it comes to cooking, but you already know me. Can you honestly tell me that another chef would give someone with my lack of skills as many chances as you have?”

Aiden couldn’t hide his flinch, confirming what she already knew to be true. “There might be someone.”

He barely looked convinced of the words he was speaking and they both knew that it was a lie to spare her feelings. She would be touched if she weren’t so upset that the only person who could help her was the one she wanted more than anything. Well, almost anything.

Nicole shot him a withering look. “Please don’t lie to me. Even you would never have taken me on if my dad hadn’t twisted your arm.”

Aiden brushed his thumb along the bottom of her lip before withdrawing his hand. “That may have been true at the beginning, but I am more than happy to help you now. No arm twisting required.” He smiled slightly at her, making him look almost as young as he did back when she’d met him thirteen years ago. “And I understand wanting something as badly as you do, but what I don’t understand is why it has to be food.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly nervous. “I’ll be honest with you, Nic. I’ve not seen much improvement over the last few weeks, and cooking does seem to be genuinely difficult for you. Why are you going after this so hard?”

Nicole’s mind snagged on his use of her nickname again and she nearly lost her train of thought, hyper focusing on that instead of the topic at hand. Fortunately, she managed to push it aside for later study. She peered over at the television once more and watched as her father smiled at the woman he was mentoring, looking at her with so much pride in his eyes that it made Nicole’s heart ache with longing.

“Look at him,” she commanded, gesturing toward the television. There was no hiding the bitterness in her voice, but she wasn’t really trying to. She’d spent years swallowing the disappointment, but not anymore. “Do you see how he is looking at her? She chopped an onion and he’s acting like she just cured cancer.”

“Minced,” Aiden corrected. At her baleful look, he held up his hands in supplication. “Sorry, please continue.”

“Chopped, minced, julienned, or whatever you call it, he is obviously proud of her. That look on his face is one I have only ever seen him give to other people. Do you know what I would do to get that look from him?” She sniffled, swiping angrily at a tear that dared to trickle down her cheek. “Do you know how hard it’s been to watch him mentor chef after chef in his kitchen, and then having to see it again now on this reality show with the stupidest fucking title known to man? Every article that’s written about him talks about what a great mentor he is, how wonderful it must be to be one of his pupils. Well, he’smydad, and all I ever see from him is indifference or disappointment.”

Aiden sighed heavily before pulling her into his arms, his body nearly crushing hers to his chest with how tightly he squeezed her. “He may be a great mentor, but he is clearly a pretty shitty father.” His warm breath tickled her hair as it passed over her head. That along with his words made her feel just the slightest bit lighter despite the heavy topic. “If being a chef is something you want, then I will help you get there as best I can.”

Nicole sniffled and hugged him as tightly as she could. “Thank you,” she whispered. She swallowed the large lump in her throat that threatened to choke her. “I can’t keep going through life feeling like I’m one big letdown to him. Cooking is the only thing he cares about, so that’s what I have to do. Maybe I’m a lost cause and this will all be for nothing, but I still have to try.”

Aiden held her for another minute before releasing her back onto her side of the couch. “I understand. I want you to get everything you need from me.” He sighed heavily, pulling away completely before resting his head in his hands. “We can go back to how things were before.”

“No,” Nicole shouted. Aiden peered over at her, a wry smile on his face. “Not like before, well, yes like before but before when we first came here. Before things were nothing but cooking and studying and barely speaking to one another. Please, Aiden? I can’t take the stilted conversations and lonely days any longer.”

He held out his hand and she took it, grateful for the contact. “Very well. We’ll find a new normal where we focus on meeting our goals while still being friendly, but not so friendly that we’re tempted to repeat what happened this evening.” Aiden looked at her with feigned confidence. “Does that sound like a plan?”

Hearing it put that way made it sound nearly impossible. How was Nicole supposed to focus on meeting her goal when he was so understanding, so willing and eager to help her, and so damn handsome that it was almost painful? Just like everything else in her life, it would take a lot of focus she didn’t have, but she would still make the attempt. Nicole nodded. “It sounds like a plan that is doomed to fail, but that’s never stopped me before.”

Aiden smiled again. “Nor I.” Nicole memorized the look on his face and filed it away where she could pull it out again later when she was feeling sad about not pursuing him romantically. Standing, Aiden pulled her to her feet and led her over to the stairs. “It’s late. Let’s get some rest and start fresh in the morning.”

“Yes, Chef.” He shot her a pointed look at her formality, but she ignored it, bobbing her shoulder as she followed him up the stairs. At the top, Aiden went right to his room and Nicole went left to hers, her steps heavy as it seemed her body was still wanting to follow him. There was a string tied to her heart, tugging her in the other direction, but unlike other times in her life, Nicole ignored it.

This time, she would stay focused. She wouldn’t let something as silly as feelings for a man stand in her way, even if those feelings were deepening, evolving into something that could eventually be special, maybe even love. Disappointment weighed on her as she glanced in his direction one last time, shutting the door to the bedroom before she could chase after him. It was better to bruise her heart now than to break it later on. At least, that’s what she told herself as she tried and failed to fall asleep.

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