Page 123 of Share with Me

“Grandma is calling me about something,” Ivan said. “I have to go. Take it easy and think of me.”

“And God. Don’t forget God.”

“That’s a given, Brin.”

“Okay. Just want to be sure.”

* * *

The long walkdown the gravel path between the trees to the mailbox by the roadside gave Ivan time to think about the conversation he had with Brinley only moments ago. Things Brinley had said here and there now gnawed at him, things like:

Are we moving too fast?

What did she mean by that? Warning bells from his friends at the Seaside Chapel Men’s Bible Study Group rang in his head, what Matt and Sebastian had suggested at their last meeting in December.

Maybe she’s waiting for a better offer later and you’re available now.

Ivan wondered if Brinley had met someone new in Paris. Surely in her rich circles it would be easier to meet eligible bachelors than not. They might not even be bachelors as long as they were single, divorced, or available.

How am I going to compete with those rich guys?

The mailbox was stuffed. Ivan could barely get the mail out. There were what looked like belated Christmas cards with foreign postmarks. Some were from Grandma’s missionary friends, and some were from her relatives in Seoul.

Then there were bills, bills, bills. He could feel the pressure in his chest. The pressure to pay up.

Then there was his box of checks.Better not write any of those. They’d bounce.

A few envelopes slipped out of his hands. He reached down to pick them up. Told himself he should’ve brought a plastic bag to carry all of these back to the house. Propping the stack of mail between one good hand and one in a cast, he started his walk back to the house.

To the right and left of him, the green space on the property extended quite a way off. Grandma and Grandpa had bought the house back in the fifties when land on St. Simon’s Island had been cheap. This land would eventually belong to him, Quincy, and Willow. Grandma had wanted to split it three ways.

He wondered now if he could talk to Quincy and Willow into selling two-thirds of it to some of those developers. The sale of the land might be enough to pay off all these debts, the bulk of which he had been handling

Until my wrist broke.

“Lord, when are you going to heal me?” Ivan shook his head and then felt bad. It was as if he were shaking his fist at God.

God would heal him when He healed him. Ivan was at God’s mercy, not the other way around. He couldn’t make God do anything.

Usually, after he had checked the mailbox, Ivan would sit on the porch to go through the bills. However, it was way too cold today.

Grandma was waiting for him in the living room. “Any bills?”

It was a longstanding joke between them.

“Enough to build a bonfire.” Ivan dropped the pile onto one end of the couch, sat down, and began to sort through the envelopes.

He spotted several envelopes from credit card companies. Funny how it went. The more debt he was in, the more invitations he received to open new credit card accounts and to take out new loans. Well, he could use the new loans to pay off the old loans.

Use new debts to pay off old debts.

Not sure how one gets out of a hole by digging some more.

“Are we making payments on the house?” Grandma asked quietly.

“Working on it.”

“What does that mean, Ivan?”

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