Page 104 of Sapphire Spring

“That’s not what I meant.”

Naser slammed the cabinet doors, turned on the faucet, andstarted wetting a rag.

Mason couldn’t bear the silence. “If you’d said somethingupstairs, I never would have brought him into the house.”

“You didn’t ask. You just announced. It was like everythingelse with you. It was so fast and intense I was afraid of what would happen ifI didn’t go along. I mean, did you really need to knowthatstory toknow how much I wouldn’t want to see him again? He was always the worst one.Always.”

Head bowed, avoiding eye contact, Naser crossed the room,sank to his knees in front of Mason, and started dabbing at his bloody handswith the wet rag, trying, it seemed, to see how shallow the wounds were. To seewhich blood was Mason’s.

“Tell me what happened,” Mason whispered. “Please.”

Naser dabbed. “Why?”

“SoI can—”

“You can’t make up for whathedid.”

“Says who?”

Naser threw the rag to one side and dropped back onto hishaunches. “Me!”

It hurt, Naser’s anger. Hurt the way he rose to his feet andturned his back on him, but Mason told himself this was Chadwick’s doing, whathe was seeing—this pain that coursed through Naser like a poison. For aterrifying few seconds, Mason thought Naser was going for the front door.Insteadhe wilted into one of the dining room chairs,resting his elbow next to a stack of unopened mail.

“He flirted with me. Beginning of senior year. I didn’t knowwhat to make of it. It was like Jekyll and Hyde. No guy had ever flirted withme. Especially not him. But after school one day, he came up to my locker andstarted asking me all kinds of questions. He even told me not to be nervous. Hesaid,We’regetting too old for thatbullshit.

“The longer he talked, the more real it felt. Then he askedme if I wanted to hang out with him, and I just stared at him, like I couldn’tbelieve what he was saying. And heactually reachedupand tousled my hair. It was…tender. Another guy had never touched me like that.I got chills all over my body. And he noticed and he smiled like some hero outof a romcom and said,Do I give you chills,Nas?

“I knew it was dangerous. The whole time he was walking meback to the bleachers I thought you and Tim might pop out from behind somethingand beat theshitout of me. But I was starving, andso it felt worth the risk. Everyone around me was dating and going to dances,and I’d never been with anyone.

“So yeah, I knew. I knew it was dangerous as hell, but I didit anyway because it washim.Because it was one of you. And I wasn’texactly drowning in other offers. And to be honest, he went so far with it, Ithought it was real. But then when it was over, when he was gone and I waslying there coughing up dirt and trying to breathe again, I realized it wasmore of the same. He’d just used his dick this time.”

“I’m sorry,” Mason whispered.

“It’s not your fault.”

“They targeted you…wetargeted you because of me.Your first day of school, I went right for you and put my arm around you beforeI knew what I was doing, and when I saw the looks on their faces, I tried toturn it into something else because I was too afraid.”

Naser nodded.

“Prom,” Mason said quietly. “At prom, when I followed you,were you afraid it was going to be like that?”

Naser nodded, tears spilling from his eyes.

In the silence that followed, he could hear the echoes oftheir crashes and their furious grunts.

“I hate him,” Mason finally whispered. “I’ve hated him forso long.”

Naser wiped his cheeks with the back of one hand. “Then whyis he still in your life?”

“After this? He’s not. Trust me.”

But Naser didn’t look convinced. Mason wanted to rush tohim, wanted to hit his knees and plead his case. But the memory of how Naserhad flinched when he’d reached for his face held him in his place. The chairhe’d almost used as a murder weapon now felt like his prison. “What?”

Naser shook his head, as if his thoughts were nothing. Buthis thoughts had silenced him and quickened his breaths, so Mason knew theywere far more than nothing.

“What,Nas?”

“It’s just… It’s been ten years, Mason. He’s got the code tothe gate. How did he manage to hold on for so long?”

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