Page 13 of Knot Letting Go

The power of my instincts to fuck her, knot her, make her mine, were ferociously strong. Yet, I reminded myself, I hadn’t done so. I’d only dreamed of it.

I was stronger than everyone else. I could handle this. X-rated dreams didn’t hurt anyone.

My hand continued to grip my dick. My balls had emptied, but I was still hard. The feeling of her beneath me in the dream, the heat of her cunt around me, her hot mouth on mine…

My employee. My daughter’s nanny.

Dammit. I was strong enough. I had to be.

CHAPTER SEVEN - Aubrielle

I woke Friday morning with the sheets twisted around my legs and my panties wet from an intense dream. Konstantin had come into my room wearing only boxers. Tall and muscled, so very Alpha. He fucked me without mercy, and I wanted it. I practically begged for him to do it. He felt so good in me, so right, as he knotted and filled me with his seed.

No, not right. Vivid as it was, thank God it was just a dream.

I’d been doing well in keeping my distance from him. I would never be rude about it or hurry out of the room with his daughter. Lillianna was always happy to see him, and she loved to show him the things we had been doing together.

But I’d catch him staring at me, his gorgeous dark eyes glittering with a sizzling energy. It felt as if he’d lassoed me with an invisible rope and was drawing me slowly to him. Each tug closed the distance and was so tight, I sometimes could barely breathe.

To make it doubly worse, Quill yanked me in the other direction. A few times, he’d joined Lillianna and I outside as we played in the garden or when I was reading her a story in the sun room. He was full of laughter and flirty quips. One time he suggested I read him a bedtime story after I put Lillianna to bed.

I blushed and waved it off, but I had to take a cold shower when I finally returned to my room. His bright exuberance contrasted with Konstantin’s quiet intensity, and I found it more and more difficult to resist either Alpha.

Which was wrong. Absolutely wrong. One was my boss, and both were my best friend’s brothers. The only thing I could do was excuse myself from wherever they might be as quicklyas possible. It didn’t stop my unconscious mind from sending me naughty dreams, though. I was often left with a hot throb between my legs that I shouldn’t be feeling. I’d never had sex. I’d never even been touched by a man. My body shouldn’t ache for something it never had.

Callista would be home in a few days, and we’d visit with her next week. Though I desperately wanted to talk about my urges with friends, I couldn’t with her. And Kienna, as much as I loved her, had a big mouth. Nicolette was the better choice, but she had newborn twins. I didn’t want to stress her out with anything happening with me.

I was doing the right thing. I knew it. Just be professional and keep my distance. That’s why I chose to take Lillianna to Cannon Beach that afternoon. Out of the house and away from temptation.

Lillianna helped Enid pack us a picnic and then picked what bathing suits we should wear. With the trunk packed with stuff, our driver Gavin took us to the west coast. He was a softly spoken Beta with gray dulling the edges of his rich honey blond hair. We’d been to parks during the week, but this would be our first big outing, and he was pleased to see me taking Lillianna out to do the things kids should be doing during the summer. Her previous nanny had stayed around the manor and rarely took Lillianna anywhere.

Gavin helped us carry everything onto the sandy white beach, but he stayed back by the car as he was dressed in uniform. Shiny dress shoes and trousers were not meant for a sandy environment.

It was a gorgeous day with only a little wind. The beach wasn’t crowded as it would likely be next month, but the lifeguard stations were manned and boats lined up on the horizon. In the distance, Haystack Rock poked out of the water and lazily soaked in some sun.

Not so patiently, Lillianna let me put sunblock on her and then helped me by rubbing some on my back. “Let’s get into the water! I want to swim with the dolphins.”

I laughed and put on my water shoes before chasing her toward the ocean. “The dolphins won’t come this close to shore, but maybe we’ll see them further out. The only thing we might see are some crabs or little fish.”

“And mermaids.” Lillianna splashed into the water and squealed, running back to me. “Ah! It’s so cold!”

A wave washed over my feet, and I let out a girlish yelp and giggled. “Definitely cold. But the longer we’re in it, the less we’ll notice. Should we take the plunge and just jump in?”

“Maybe we should go slow.” Lillianna gripped my hand, shivering. “Do you think mermaids get really cold?”

“I think any mermaids that live this far north in the sea are used to cold waters. Maybe they swim south in the winter to vacation in Mexico. They could get sombreros and explore all the sunken pirate ships.”

We talked about mermaid vacations until Lillianna gathered her courage, and then we dunked ourselves in the water. We played in the shallows, pretending to be mermaids, and collecting shells.

After a few hours, I called for a snack and hydration break. I wrapped Lillianna up in her fluffy towel and we sat under the umbrella eating the fruit Enid had cut into fish and shell shapes. While other young women on the beach were tanning and flirting with the lifeguards having their hot girl summer, I was happy to have a mermaid summer with Lillianna. The more time I spent with her, the more certain I was that I wanted to dedicate my life to children. Of course, it helped that she was an incredibly bright and sweet girl.

“I’m going to ask my Daddy to get me and you mermaid tails. That way we can swim down to the bottom of the oceanreally fast.” Lillianna made a diving motion with her hand and punctuated it with a splashing noise.

“I think that would be an excellent project for us. We can design and make our own mermaid tails. I know how to sew, and that way, you can have a tail exactly as you imagine it.” I loved doing activities like this with kids, and she could pick up on my excitement. “You can pick your favorite color, or more than one color, and design it with as many fins as you want. Long or short. With sparkles or no sparkles.”

“Always have to have sparkles.” Lillianna nodded sagely.

At times, she seemed more grown up than any five year old had any right to be. She had been through a lot in her young life. The loss of her mother, being torn from the only home she’d known, and thrust into a new house in a different country. That would be way more than many adults could handle.

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