Page 1 of Knot Letting Go

CHAPTER ONE – Aubrielle

Weddings usually make me cry. And this was my best friend’s wedding. Callista looked radiant in her dress inlaid with diamonds, and her three Alphas were enchanted by her. Not once did they take their eyes off her. After they made their vows to Callista, each man took a turn holding their infant daughter and gave their fatherly promises to Isabella. I should have been bawling.

But my eyes were dry.

Guilt chewed at my insides. Not only had Callista found her mates, but so had Nicolette and Kienna. I should want to dance all night at the reception and celebrate with tears of joy. Yet when Nicolette congratulated me on not ruining my makeup by crying, I wanted to bury my head in the sand.

I left the reception in the beautifully decorated ballroom of the Birk family manor and escaped outside into the night. The warm summer air was laced with a salty sea smell. I turned toward the breeze as I headed to the gazebo overlooking the water earlier, but glimpsing two strange men standing inside of it, I stopped. Their low voices carried to me, speaking another language, and none of it sounded like happy talk.

There were several people I didn’t know at the wedding, and I wasn’t in the mood for company, especially if they might be Alphas. By the height of one and the way his muscles stretched his suit jacket, I bet he might be. So instead, I followed the scent of blossoms to the garden and breathed in deeply. The sweet nectar, green leaves, and rich soil. Like home.

In our group of four friends, I was the only one not from the coast. I grew up in Kansas, and later my father moved us to eastern Oregon. Beaches and bikinis were things for charactersin movies. Long skirts, wide brim hats, and sunny gardens were my reality.

Sadness tugged at the corners of my soul at the thought. My mom and I spent hours in the garden. Since she passed away almost two years ago, I was left to tend the garden at home by myself. I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. I was a horrible friend to even entertain my grief on my best friend’s wedding day.

Fairy lights lit the winding pathways through the various plots. Reds, oranges, and yellows were silver tinged by the moon. It was like a fairy tale scene. Maybe if I looked up to the sky and made a wish on a falling star, my fairy godmother would fly down and grant all my wishes.

“There you are!”

The voice startled me, and I let out a small yelp before covering my mouth. God, I was so jumpy. I hated that I was so easy to scare.

Kienna laughed and skipped towards me. Her bare feet made quiet slapping sounds on the stone walkway. “Please tell me you aren’t out here because you drank too much and are about to vomit in the garden.”

I’d barely had a glass of wine. “No. I came out because I was having a secret rendezvous with a man in the garden.” I teased and giggled at her briefly shocked expression. Too bad it didn’t last more than a second. She knew me better than that. “I just needed some fresh air.”

“God, me too. So many stuffy folks in there.” Kienna sighed, looped her arm through mine, and turned to shout over her shoulder, “She’s over here!”

Callista and Nicolette strolled around the bend, smiling widely at us. Beneath the lights, Callista’s dress sparkled as if it were something magical. Her dark hair was lifted up off her neck and jeweled pins arranged like a princess’ crown held it in place.The gems were three colors to match each of our bride’s maids’ dresses.

Nicolette looked otherworldly in sapphire. The red of her hair flared against the rich shade of blue and made her eyes gleam as if they were jewels themselves.

Kienna had chosen ruby, and dyed her hair a pale blonde with crimson tips. Her bright red lipstick was nearly worn off. With five amorous mates, it was a wonder she had any left on her lips at all.

I’d been given emerald. The silk of my dress rippled and almost seemed black in parts under the night sky. The spaghetti straps left my shoulders bare and the knotted stitching in the middle hugged my waistline. It was the most gorgeous piece of clothing I’d ever owned. My heart grew heavy again as I wished my mom could see me in it.

Don’t give in to your grief, Aubrie. It was Callista’s day. The focus should be on her.

“What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be inside with your guests?” There were nearly two hundred and fifty people at the reception. I’d trembled on my heels when I walked down the aisle at the beginning of the ceremony with all those eyes on me.

“I needed a break. I’ve forgotten what big parties are like. It’s so quiet out on the island.” Callista slipped off her shoes and stretched out her toes. “My feet still feel swollen from being pregnant.”

“Don’t I know it.” Nicolette was wearing flats, but toed them off too. She just had her twins last week, and no matter the insistence of her overprotective mates, she had been determined to come to the wedding. “You know,” she lifted her head, smiling. “I don’t think we’ve gotten a moment alone with just the four of us since we got here. I miss you guys so much.”

We all slipped our arms around each other and hugged in a tight circle. Some of my anxiety eased. “I miss you all too.”

I did. So much. I hadn’t realized I relied so much on my friends until we graduated and I went back home to my empty house. My father was still around, and he managed to get back some nights in time for dinner, but it was mostly just me, our cats, and the memories of my mother.

“After our honeymoon, you all need to come to the island and stay awhile.” Callista leaned her head on Kienna’s shoulder. My heart leapt at the thought. The four of us together again would be fantastic.

“I’ll be in Ireland and then the training season starts.” Kienna pouted. “Maybe I can sneak away for a weekend.”

“I’m stuck at home this year. Between this being the guys’ busiest season, my dance school, and the twins, I don’t have time to sleep.” Nicolette didn’t look like an exhausted new mom. She was as gorgeous as ever, more so at the mention of her mates and babies. “Yet when the winter comes, I will happily book a girls’ getaway to the Caribbean, and we can sleep for a week straight.”

Everyone laughed, but I didn’t feel it. I desperately wanted us to have time together, to have all that positive energy around me. To feel alive instead of lost to the past.

Yet it was as if I were on the outside of an exclusive club. I didn’t have a mate or even the prospect of one. Being an Omega, my father made sure I stayed at home for my own safety. While I’ve busied myself with online college classes for early childhood education and trying unsuccessfully to find a job appropriate for my unclaimed status, the only time I saw anyone socially other than him and the housekeeper was when I was with my friends.

There was a series of soft clicking noises, and we turned together to find Tiergan—one of Kienna’s mates—snappingseveral pictures. Another one of the hockey players, Alderic, stood behind him with a wide grin.

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