Page 84 of Second Round

He smiled sourly. “I’m sure that many people would agree that I know how to take care ofNumberOne.”

“Selfish is maybe not the right word. But I let people walk over me, and I kept putting other people’s needs ahead of my own. I’m trying to balance that now.” I took a deep breath. “I spent too long letting Brent prioritize business and finances ahead of me. We both love the kids, but we shouldn’t have let our relationship take a back seat toeverythingelse.”

Leo didn’t reply to that. He drank his beer andwaited.

“I know what I want: someone who makes me a priority. You don’t have room in your life foranyoneelse.”

He bowed his head again. I knew Charlotte was on his mind. Possibly this was the worst night to do this, but my love should be a comfort and not a burden. Besides, once I couldn’t play by his relationship rules, itwasover.

I continued, “I’m not like you. I love my kids, but people are more important to me than work. I thought I could date you and not get all serious, but I care too much about you to keep goinglikethis.”

He looked up at me and pain marred his face. He did care about me—but not enough tochange.

I stood up. My emotions were overflowingthisroom.

“You’re way smarter than me. And you’re better educated too, I get all that. But I understand people, that’s my strength. I can see exactly what you’re doing. You don’t want to make any lasting connections or relationships that will prevent you from packing up and going on to the next job. I’m not even sure if it’s your ambition or if you’re still afraid of getting hurt like you did in your first marriage. Believe me, I understand aboutthatpain.”

Leo sat motionless on the couch. Was I even getting through to him? “It’s like those people in the videos with the colour blindness correcting glasses I was telling you about. They put on the glasses for the first time, and they can’t believe it. They start crying and talking about how beautiful everything is. That could be you. The world could be even more beautiful if you open yourself up to caring and emotion. If you won’t even try to feel everything for me that I feel for you... well, there’s no point in usgoingon.”

He rose and came close, but didn’t touch me. “I told you what you could expect from me, Jackie. I’m sorry that’s not enough, but I know myself well enough to know what I’mcapableof.”

“No! You only know what you are. You have no idea what youcouldbe.”

With me. What I felt for Leo was beautiful and full of potential. I admired his strength, his intelligence, his calm. And our attraction was off the charts. But I had already been hurt enough, and I wasn’t willing to love someone again when I knew it would end up in pain. As soon as the call came from the NHL, he’d be gone and would never look back. And I deserved morethanthat.

SoIleft.

31

The DarkNight

Jackie

Istumbledout to the van and leaned against the door. I glanced backwards, hoping against hope that Leo might be coming after me. But why would he? He wasn’t impulsive and emotional like me. He was all planning and rational thought. Relationships were in a box for him, and I had tried to bust open the box. BadJackie.

I drove away, my breath shallow and fast. I couldn’t breathe, so I rolled down all the windows and the night air camerushingin.

Where should I go now? I had planned to stay over at Leo’s, and my new place had zero furniture in it. I drove automatically to Sharon’splace.

“Hey.” She opened the door with an expression of confusion. Then she took in my face. “What the hell happened? You looklikeshit.”

“I broke upwithLeo.”

“Youbroke up with him?” She sounded surprised, and no wonder. I looked like complete crap, and I was barely keeping my tears in. “You guys seemed so happy atSaturna.”

“Yeah, I know.” I swallowed. “Hey, is it okay if I stay overtonight?”

“Oh sure, come in. Kayla’s asleep, and Neilisover.”

“Sorry, am I interrupting something? Maybe I should have gone to a hotel or something.” I had enough money in the bank right now that I didn’t need to campouthere.

She pulled me inside. “Don’t besilly.”

Neil smiled up at me from the couch where they had clearly been snuggling and watching a movie. Which was exactly what Leo and I had been planning. The tears went from simmer to full boil and poured down mycheeks.

“Jesus, Jackie,” exclaimed Neil in a panic. “Are you allright?”

“I’m fine,” I whimpered. “I just need aminute.”

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