Page 82 of Second Round

Once we returned from Saturna, I took my kids straight to Brent’s place where they would go off on another holiday. I spent the night at Leo’s place, but on Monday, he had to work. Charlotte and I went to my rental house. It was empty now, but I had lots of prep work to do. Charlotte loved being helpful, so she got to join me in cleaning and painting. Later, we explored the new neighbourhood and found a colourful café with kids toys and children’s drinks. At the end of the day, we brought a pizza back to Leo’s. He messaged me to say he had to work late because he was taking the next day off. Tomorrow was Charlotte’s last day in Vancouver as well as her birthday. When he finally walked in the door, she pouncedonhim.

Leo was watching his daughter with the sweetest smile on his usually stern face. However many shields he put up at work or even with me, with Charlotte there was only pure,tenderlove.

Suddenly I felt this enormous emptiness inside me. I wasn’t jealous of Charlotte; she was a gentle spirit who deserved all his love and more. But I was jealous of that time in Leo’s life when he was open. When he fell in love with Sophie, they got married and they had their lovely daughter. It was a time when he didn’t shut part of himself off. And tears welled up in my eyes for all the people like the two of us who fell in love and then got hurt. Would we ever be the same again—open and readytolove?

Before Leo noticed my tears, I went to the kitchen. I dabbed my eyes with a tissue and took a deep breath. I swiped at the countertop with a dishcloth, but there was nothing to do here. I could still hear their voices in thenextroom.

“Ah,chaton, is it time forbednow?”

“No, Papa. It’s too early. I’m almosteightnow.”

He laughed. “You’re an old lady. What time do eight year-olds gotobed?”

“Teno’clock!”

“How about 8:30, with double bedtime stories?” heasked.

“And a cookie,” she said. I smiled. Charlotte would be as good a negotiator as her father one day. They both snuck into the kitchen. I crossed my arms and pretended to be stern since forbidden fruit was alwaystastier.

“What? Cookies atthistime?”

Charlotte’s eyes widened and then crinkled at the corners when she realized I was teasing. “Papa told me itwasokay.”

I smiled. “Well, ifPapasaid so, I guessit’sokay.”

“Thank you, Jackie.” She wrapped her arms around my hips and squeezed. I stroked her silky hair. I was going to miss her so much. My eyes met Leo’s over her head, and he was smiling. Then she took two cookies and immediately handed one to him. “So, you’ll have more energy to read. Also, I want a piggy-back ride tomyroom.”

Leo shook his head. “All right, your highness. Anything else? A parade of cats while you brush yourteeth?”

She giggled and clapped herhands. “Yes!”

He pointed at the cat, who was grooming himself in the middle of the kitchen floor. “You’ll have to settle for Mao lickinghisbutt.”

This only made Charlotte laugh hysterically. She was so wound up now that it would take more than two stories to get her settled down, but after all, it was their last night together. They should enjoy everymoment.

It took almost an hour to get Charlotte settled down. Leo walked into the living room stretching outhisneck.

“She’s a tough out. You wantabeer?”

“No, thanks.I’mfine.”

He nodded, then went to the kitchen and returned with a beer and a piece of pizza. He collapsed onto the couch and stretched outhisarms.

“Can’t believe she’s going back to Montréalsosoon.”

I moved next to him. “You’re really going tomissher.”

He nodded. “Thank you, Jackie. The whole thing this summer would not have worked without you. I underestimated the amount of time and attention Charlotteneeds.”

Like every dad ever. But I didn’t voice that ungenerous thought. The first weekend that Brent took the kids, he was almost shell-shocked afterwards because he’d never been on duty for two days solid. There was always me or his mother around to pick up the slack, so he could put his feet up and watch football for a few hours. It wasn’t that kids needed constant attention; it was that when they needed your attention, they needed it right away. It was like being an emergency room doctoroncall.

“We were all happy to have Charlotte around. She’s a sweetheart. When will you see heragain?”

Leo shook his head. “Depends on the schedule, but probably not until Christmas. And we only get a few daysoffthen.”

“That’s rough.” I rubbed his thigh, feeling the tensed muscle through his navychinos.

“What’s rough is how much she’s gonna change in that time. Every time I see her again, she’s different. And getting to know her so well this summer makes that worse. All the things she loves now, who knows if she’ll even care about them by nextsummer.”

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