Page 75 of Second Round

27

HockeyIsLife

Jackie

Iwalkedin the house and kicked off my sandals. They echoed hollowly as they clattered to the floor. The utter emptiness struck me. No Hannah or Tristan. Even Minx was hidden somewhere. She was not happy about the mess of labelled boxes and rearranged furniture that had taken the place of the comfortable home she was used to. Who could blame her? I wasn’t happy either. I was used to walking into a home that felt like a comforting hug instead of a reminder of everything I still hadtodo.

It was ridiculous to feel this upset about Brent and Margaret. We’d both moved on. I wasn’t pining for him; I had lots of new things going on in my life. So why did I feel like this? Was it jealousy? Did I want to get married again? Or was it finding out by accident? Like I didn’t evenmatter.

I needed to destress somehow. It was too late for a run. Maybe a hot bath and a cup of tea? My go-to solutions, but they didn’t feel like enough right now. I put the kettle onanyway.

Tap.Tap.

The gentle knock startled me. When I looked outside, Leo was standing on the front porch. I unlockedthedoor.

“Did I forget something?” Iasked.

He shook his head. “I did. Can Icomein?”

I hesitated. I wasn’t in the mood for entertaining. Or sex either, I’d made that clear. “Leo, I’m sorry. I don’t have the energytonight.”

Leo closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. “It’s not about sex, Jackie. I can’t leave you alone when you feel solousy.”

Something broke open inside me. I’d respected the distance that Leo put between himself and others—everyone but Charlotte. We were going out, we were having amazing sex, we were having fun, and he was always supportive and helpful. But for the first time, he was offering a real part ofhimself.

I leaned my head against him and let his strength flow through me. Leo was full of certainty, and that was exactly what I needed now. We stood there for a long time, until the kettle’s whistlinginterrupted.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed? I’ll bring you a cupoftea.”

The angular lines of his face softened when he smiled. I put a hand up to caress hischeek.

“Thank you so much.” As much as I struggled to be independent every single day, being taken care of was a huge comfort. The big surprise was that Leo wasoffering.

I pulled on a simple satin nightgown in a warm coral colour. I brushed my hair and took most of my makeup off, but not all. No point in scaring Leo with my natural state of nakedmolerat.

Leo tapped on the half-open door and walked in with a cup of tea. His gaze raked over me. “Jesus, Jackie, I’m only human. Maybe you can put something on,ontop?”

I laughed. He was making me feel better. No matter what Brent did, it wasn’t like I had completely lost it. I pulled on a thin patterned robe, and sat down on the edge of the bed. Leo handed me the tea and I took a sip. He had added milk and a littlesugar.

“How did you know exactly how I like my tea?” Iwondered.

“I have normal powers ofobservation.”

He sat down beside me and rubbed my back. “Jackie, you know what a special woman you are,right?”

I shook my head. “I’m not. I’m... just a regular woman.” I remembered how I had struggled to figure out where to go for our second date, the one where we did something I was really good at. I was good at many things—being a mom, cooking, decorating, painting, being a friend—but I wasn’treallygood at anything. Like being a wife. That was a role made up of so many parts and if you failed at one of them, the whole marriage could fall apart. I wasn’t educated enough, rich enough, charming enough, or ambitious enough to keep Brent happy. And I wasn’t even smart enough to figure out exactly what went wrong. A tear trickled down my cheek. Why did I feel like crap when Leo was right here beside me being sosweet?

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. I put my tea on the bedside table and leaned against him. Tears were falling freely now. “I’m such an idiot,” I sobbed. “I know I should be over Brent now. And I am! It’s just....” My voicetrailedoff.

Leo smoothly maneuvered us around until we were spooning on the bed. I was encased in his arms now. He didn’t say anything, but he held me tightly and let me cry. Finally I ran out of tears. I wasn’t cleansed but I did feel better. And how did I look now? I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes. An alarming amount of black came off. Was naked mole rat better than wetpanda?

“You want some more tea?” Leoasked.

“It’s okay.” I sniffed. “I’d just be reloading my liquids so I couldcrymore.”

He chuckled softly. “Your sense of humour is back. That’s agoodsign.”

His arms were still tight around me, and I nestled my head into his shoulder. “Thank you so much for this. Don’t you have to gethomesoon?”

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