Page 53 of Office of the Lost

It was that final factor—the amazing newCrispinessof his existence—that made him focus enough to open his eyes and see where he’d brought them.

And then he sighed because it was a lot less interesting than his home.“It’s an office.”

Crispin, still holding his hand, gave him a look.“Yes.Office of the Lost.”

“Right.But you know.Fae and transporting and alternate universes and magic.I was expecting something more… weird.”

The vast room in which they now stood looked like a very ordinary workspace, like a call center.There were neat rows of identical heavy white desks, most with neat stacks of paper in one corner and little plastic cups filled with pens.Some had something that resembled a large electronic tablet, and others had little arrangements of framed photos or knickknacks.Each desk was paired with a chair that looked ergonomic but likely wasn’t all that comfortable.

It wouldn’t have been out of place as the offices of Boring, Large, and Corporate LLC back on Earth.

The floor in this room was shiny and white while the ceiling, far overhead, had built-in light fixtures softly glowing.The white walls were hung with reminder posters about workplace safety and reporting requirements.“Why do you have to submit Form 242GH-X2 when you collect items from Methezuno City?”

Crispin blinked at him.“What?”

Leopold pointed at the sign where he’d just read that.

“Oh.”Crispin shrugged slightly.“Because if you store them too close to anything from Xaunas they’ll explode.Leo, is that relevant right now?”

“Guess not.”Crispin was in a mood, Leopold thought, which was understandable.No one liked going to the office.“So this is where you work?Which desk is yours?”

Now it was Crispin’s turn to point.His spot was near the edge of the room beneath a large banner reminding everyone thatEvery Lost Item Is Important.His desk had no photos or knickknacks, no screen, not even a pile of paper.There was, however, a tiny pile of nuts on one corner of the desk.

“Acorns?”Leopold asked.

“Sometimes Minkis hides them in my pockets, and I discover them after I get to work.”He sighed, feeling a tad nostalgic, and then shook himself slightly.“I’ve never seen the place this quiet.Usually there are people bustling around, which can actually be a little distracting if I’m trying to get things done.But I don’t really mind.It makes me feel as if I’m a part of something important.”

“You are.”

Crispin made a face.“I was.Now… I doubt I still have a position here.Don’t get me wrong, though.I’d rather have you than my old job.”

Leopold smiled, and then Thea started playing Etta James singing “At Last,” which reminded them both why they were here.“How do we get Thea fixed?”Leopold asked.

“Not in here.We need to go to the Necessary Room.”

“The bathroom?”Leopold remembered the one he’d accidentally exploded at Juzir’s apartment and felt a pang of guilt.

“What?No, the Necessary Room.”A patented Crispin Sigh.Leopold was falling in love with those too.“It’s where we get items that are necessary for our missions.”

“You’re not going to just replace Thea, are you?”Leopold had grown rather fond of the little device’s periodic musical outbursts.

Crispin clutched the phone protectively to his chest.“No!Of course not.Come on.”

Leopold followed him across the room.In his wake, desktop items shifted around and lost their perfect alignment with the edge of the desks they sat upon.Leo snickered.A little creative chaos.

They came to a door with a sign asking,Have You Maximized Your Perfecality Score Today?Crispin blew a raspberry at it.Leo grinned and said, “I’m rubbing off on you.”

Crispin opened the door and led them down a dim corridor that reminded Leopold of one of the elementary schools he’d attended, where he’d often been sent to the principal’s office due to some mishap he’d caused.This place even smelled like chalk and that weird floor cleaner the janitor had used.The stuff came in an enormous white bucket that, it turned out, did not make an adequate footstool for an eight-year-old who tried to reach the top shelf in the cleaning closet simply because he wondered what was stored up there.That eight-year-old never did solve the mystery, because the lid had cracked, the bucket had tipped over, and?—

“Leo?Are you doing this?”

Snapping back to the present, Leopold realized that the OotL now lookedexactlylike that school corridor, complete with posters urging Kindness, Diligence, and Respect, and a poorly done mural featuring the school mascot, Beverly Beaver.

Leopold blinked, and everything snapped back to the original OotL.No beavers.“Sorry.”

Crispin was staring at him, wide-eyed.“You can affect the OotL HQ building.That’s impressive.Your powers must be….”

Leopold was going to apologize again, even though the strength of his powers wasn’t within his control, but then Crispin kissed his cheek.“Impressive,” Crispin repeated.

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