Page 44 of Office of the Lost
“I know you.”Aspin walked over to them with the grace and implied danger of a panther, stopping before the hapless human.
Leo, for his part, seemed much less impressed with Aspin’s image of refined masculinity.“This one’s your brother?I would have guessed that one over there.”He jerked his thumb toward a corner of the room.
Crispin followed the gesture to where Uncle Epilen snored in a gilded chair, thick glasses resting on the bridge of his overly long nose, hands clasped over a bulbous belly.
The rest of the courtiers were staring at the newcomers, the room suddenly gone silent.
“Um, thank you?I think?”It was certainly a mixed compliment.Epilen was very smart and handled all of the family finances, but he wasnotthe most attractive of the family fae.
“Oh, you’re much more adorable.”Leo pecked him on the cheek, making him blush and earning a shocked gasp from the crowd.Humans rarely entered his mother’s Estate, and when they did, she was usually the object of their affections.
His mother, for her part, wore an expression Crispin had rarely seen—genuine shock.Whether due to her unexpected human guest or the prodigal return of her son, it wasn’t clear.
Crispin wiped his cheek, as if he could just rub out what had happened, and then straightened his rumpled vest.He was glad he’d taken the time to spruce Leo up a bit, but now he wished he’d done the same for himself.He felt every inch the desk fae among these fancy folk, and worse, a somewhat disheveled and grimy desk fae, likely confirming everything they already thought about him.
“You looksofamiliar.”Aspin was still staring at Leo.He reached out to touch his cheek and jerked his hand back when a spark stung him.“What in Hades’ dark halls?”Aspin glared at his own hand as if it had offended him.
This was going to escalate fast if Crispin didn’t find a way to shut his brother down and get Leo somewhere private.
The lights flickered, and Thea unexpectedly came to his rescue, blaring out a strange “song” that sounded like a mix of car horns and electric guitars played by zombies on acid.Crispin had collected just such a song once, for work.
“Sorry.I broke my transport device.”He pulled out his damaged electronic best friend and glared at her, though he was secretly glad for the interruption.“Not now, Thea.”
The screen went black, and the music cut off abruptly.
Before Aspin could recover, Crispin grabbed Leo by the elbow and dragged him past his brother and over to the glorious, all-knowing, world-enchanting Queen of the High Holy Fae.“I need a moment with you alone,Mother.”He knew just the tone that would push her buttons.
She blinked and sighed.“Of course you do.”She turned to her adoring courtiers.“I am so sorry, but a familial matter has arisen that requires my immediate attention.”The look she gave Leo told him she knew exactly what he was.“I will return anon.”
Crispin grinned.He’d startled her into an anachronism.She’d always been fond of young Shakespeare, who had somehow escaped—mostly unscathed—from his two-week visit to her realm.And had gone on to write an entire play based upon it.
She waved her hand and the room and the rest of the casino dissolved.All of her guests disappeared, except for Leo, Crispin, and Aspin.
Leo gasped.“Are the rest of them… dead?”
Crispin gave a low chuckle.“They only wish they were.”Being in the presence of the Queen was like a drug for mere mortals, and her sudden absence hurt like the worst kind of withdrawal.“They will be fine when she returns.”He looked around, surprised to find himself in her private bower.
This version of it fit with the fancy casino theme—a huge suite, wallpapered in a shimmering pattern that recalled cottonwood trees, their leaves shifting as if blown by a breeze.He recognized it as an enchanted wall covering, of course.In the middle of it was the omnipresent Red Door, which Crispin avoided looking at.Too many implications there.
The Queen’s bed was held up by four massive oaks which disappeared into the sky—or was it just a ceiling?—where clouds shifted slowly across the plaster.He’d never been able to decide if they were actual clouds or just a fancy painted illusion.Neither would have surprised him.
“Why did you bringthathere?”Cerillia was staring at Leo with a combination of fear and distaste.But it was her appearance that startled Crispin.She looked… older.
Cerillia Ailedrin Moss’caladinneverlooked older.She wasagelessness personified, an ethereal being who made all others around her feel old and inferior.But now he saw fine lines around her eyes and mouth, skin pulled so tight across her cheekbones that it was almost translucent, and silver hair that looked more leaden-gray than the color of freshly refined ore.
Aspin frowned prettily.“What is it?”
“You don’t recognize it?”She patted her older son on the head as if he were five years old.“You dragged it off to Earth all those gods-forsaken years ago.”She turned away to pour a fine sparkling brandy into a crystal goblet and then swallowed it entirely, without offering any of them even a drop.
“Leo… Leopold is not anit.”Crispin slipped his arm around Leo’s waist and pulled him closer, eliciting ayip.“He’s a human, regardless of how he was….”He’d been about to sayformed, but that would just make his mother’s point.“Born.”
Leo turned to look at him.“Thank you, Crispy.”
Light dawned on Aspin’s face.“You’re that bit of Chaos Elly here let out of The Door.”He gestured at the red portal, which seemed to grow a little.
Crispin Eladrin blushed at the nickname.But although Aspin had tortured him mercilessly withElly Elly Elephantas a child,Crispin had seen too many scary things across a thousand worlds to fear a bully as petty as Aspin Vellain Moss’caladin—or as Crispin had named him, Velly Ugly.
“The Office sent me to collect him, so he must be important,” he said.
