Page 81 of Office of the Lost

“—retirement might be a nice option for me as long as I know my Estate will be properly?—”

“—not built for people of my stature and I really should?—”

“—squeak chitter chitter?—”

“—figure out which of these thrice-cursed doors is the right one to?—”

Crispin.That last one wasCrispin!

Leopold leaped with joy and followed it with a little dance, waving his hands in the air.“He came for me!Crispy came to rescue me!”

His elation grew to panic, however, when he realized that Crispin and whoever was with him were being chased, and that there were alotof rooms in this place, and that Crispin had no idea which one was Leopold’s.

Leopold needed a way to steer him.If sound could enter the room, it made sense that it could leave as well.If it was loud enough.

He focused now on his vocal chords.I need to be like a whale.Their voices could be heard for hundreds of miles.Or, if you believe theStar Trekmovie franchise, their voices could be heard by aliens—who sent a probe that was destroying Earth.Leopold didn’t want to turn into a whale because the room was too small and too dry, but maybe he could vocally project like one.

“Crispy!”he shouted.Which was a mistake because he still had super-hearing and that yellhurt.He added a new feature to his ears: an automatic volume decrease when he was the one yelling.Then he tried again.“Crispy!I’m here!”

And from far away: “It’s him!It’s Leo!Fromlith, did you hear that?It’s my Leo!”And then, after a brief pause: “Which room is yours?”

Possibly there was a number or some other identification on the door, but Leopold couldn’t see it.He shouted back.“Don’t know!Follow my voice!”

“Okay!”

Leopold was so overcome with excitement that his heart galloped and he could barely breathe.Despite that, he sprinted around the room, yelling Crispin’s name the whole time and then, for good measure, belting out the theme song fromGilligan’s Island.

The running footsteps—which must have been Fromlith’s—came nearer.“Keep singing!”Crispin said.“You’re getting louder!”

Leopold gave him an entire medley of theme songs:Brady Bunch.Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.Laverne & Shirley.Friends.He was about to resort toThe Dukes of Hazzard, which was slightly horrifying, but was saved when something crashed through the wall.

Someonescrashed through the wall.

Leopold scrambled back to avoid being squashed but leapt forward again when he saw Crispin leap off Fromlith’s hand.

“Crispy!”

“Leo!”Crispin stared at him for a long moment, and Leo started to grow concerned.“My, what big ears you have.”

“What?Oh, these!Sorry.”He swiftly restored his ears and vocal chords to their normal shapes and capabilities.“Better?”

Crispin grinned.“You look good to me no matter what.”

And like in some corny old movie, they flew into each other’s arms and kissed, and the music swelled dramatically, and— That wasn’t music.It was sirens.

Leopold grabbed Crispin’s arms.“We need to get out of here before they arrive and find a way to stuffall of usin prison.Hurry!”

With a solemn expression, Crispin shook his head.“We can’t run, Leo.They’ll track us down and collect us.That’s what we—I meantheydo for a living, remember?”

Leopold didn’t fancy the idea of spending his life as a fugitive, and he certainly wouldn’t wish that on Crispin.“I can take us to… that Chaos place.I bet they can’t get in there.I’ll make it look just like your treehouse, I promise.We can even?—”

“Leo.”Crispin’s voice was soft.“We need to confront this.We need to figure out why they’ve been so insistent on collecting you.And that means… we need to go see the Oracle.”

That made sense, even if it didn’t make Leopold happy.He just wanted to be free of this place.

He wondered what the Oracle would be like.Some grand fire-breathing dragon?A bunch of old Greek women playing harps and looming… or whatever they did with looms.Or maybe something more like the Wizard of Oz when Toto pulled back the curtain.That would be awesome.

He shot a sour look in the direction of the figures still perched on Fromlith—and man, did Aspin ever look pissed off; that part was good, at least—and grunted.“This stupid Oracle bosses people around and ruins lives.Who is it, anyway?”

---