Page 25 of Office of the Lost
Thea stopped singing and refused to provide any additional information, although she did hiccup now and then.Crispin wandered for a bit but found nothing.
“You know,” Leopold eventually pointed out, “you’d get a better view from the air.I’d look myself but I can’t get much elevation.I bet you could, though.”
Crispin frowned and flapped his wings.“But I’m not permitted.”
“You’re banned from flying?”
“Yes, well, it’s part of the Treaty of Hrglethemot, isn’t it?”
As if Leopold would have the slightest idea what that was.
Crispin paused and then said, as if reciting from memory: “…in consideration of which the Fae of the Connected Worlds do hereby pledge and covenant that they shall heretofore and in perpetuity abstain from all flying, soaring, gliding, or hovering, and they shall also….Well, there are two hundred and twelve other articles, but they’re not pertinent to our current situation.Violation of the treaty could result in severe repercussions.”
Leopold scrunched up his forehead.“But you said you hoped to fly in an airplane.”
“Yes,” said Crispin, nervously shifting his feet.“But I believe that may be an exception in that the airplanepassengerisn’t technically flying at all, but rather sitting inside a vehicle that is.”
“So there are exceptions to the rule then.”
“Well, not exceptions precisely, but?—”
“But an emergency should be an exception.It’s, uh,exigent circumstances.”He’d heard that phrase once, in a cop show.“And we’re pretty exigent right now.”
Crispin folded his arms.“The Treaty of Hrglethemot does not contain provisions?—”
“Look, Crispy.Do you wanna stay stuck here forever, or do you want to get home to your desk and your, um, raccoon?”
“Minkis is asquirrel.”Crispin seemed offended.But he also seemed to be truly considering the rest of what Leopold had said, and eventually he huffed.“Fine.”
“Fine what?”
“I’ll… you know,” Crispin flapped his arms.That action was rather silly since he was in actual possession of perfectly flappable wings.But Leopold didn’t point that out.Sometimes the nicest thing to say was nothing at all.
“Great,” said Leopold.“You reconnoiter.I’ll wait here.”He sank down again into the soft grass, wishing it was as delicious as the purple grass on Vlotho.
After another few contorted facial expressions, Crispin handed over the phone, warned Leopold not to do anything to it, and then lifted into the sky as gracefully as a giant butterfly.His wings were probably not big enough to lift something as heavy as a desk fae, but Leopold had already learned that there was no point in relying on silly things like logic and the laws of physics while on this adventure.Instead, he looked upward, more than a little envious as Crispin flew in circles, rising higher with each circuit.
After a few moments, he landed softly beside Crispin.“How was that?”He was a little out of breath.
“You looked like a natural,” Leopold muttered, somewhat overcome with envy.
Crispin shrugged.“Many of the fae are naturally capable of flight.My people gave it up in the Treaty of Hrglethemot.It was probably intended to punish us for improperly making use of Chaos, which caused a lot of problems for everyone and, in turn, caused several other peoples to ally and declare war.”
Now, this was interesting.“Wait.Your folks wereusingthat monster thing?”
“They still are.All of the fae do, and many others besides.Chaos provides the power behind our magic.And that’s fine so long as it’s carefully contained, but my forebears were….Well, suppose in your world a human owns a very large ferocious dog, and he keeps it chained up so as to protect his property.A guard dog, yes?That’s considered acceptable.But instead suppose he removes its collar and permits it to wander the neighborhood and terrorize everyone.Notacceptable.”
That did make sense.“So your fae ancestors let the dog loose and?—”
“And nearly started a war, which they would likely have lost and which would certainly have entailed enormous death and destruction.After the Almost War, they agreed to keep Chaos leashed, as it were, and also made several other concessions to atone for their poor behavior.Foreswearing flight was one of those.Providing assistance to the Office of the Lost was another.”
Oh.So that was how Crispin got his gig.Leopold had probably watched too much Disney and way too many episodes ofThe Fairly OddParents, but he’d always pictured fairies flitting around in forests and granting wishes—maybe occasionally sprinkling magic dust—not sitting in offices collecting stuff.Well, if it had been intended as punishment, that had failed, because Crispin clearly adored his job.
“Did your gang let the Chaos free again?Is that why it’s chasing us?’Cause it seems like that would be a pretty big contract violation right there.”
Crispin was silent for so long that Leopold figured he’d clammed up for good.But then he gave a long sigh.“I don’t know.”
Leopold was going to ask more, but then Thea started playing an old song by Sly and the Family Stone, and Crispin fluttered aloft again.
