Page 24 of Office of the Lost

Crispin rolled his eyes.“Of course we do.This is Phaxsi and we have taken the form of awaannisa, who live here.What’s more important is that we’re not where we’re supposed to be—the Hall of Mirrors.And now in addition to being stranded, we have a major problem on our hands.And my perfecality score?—”

“Is suffering.Yeah, I got that.”Leopold had never held a job that included anything like a perfecality score.Which was probably fortunate, because his score would have been somewhere in the deep negatives.Still, he could understand Crispin’s distress.

However, Leopold was certain that his own distress was deeper and more important, given that he’d been collected against his will and whisked off to two different and very weird worlds.

Except on this world he had wings.

He fluttered them a few more times because it felt so damned good, and then, just when he was wondering if he could fly, hedid.His trajectory was shaky, he rose only a few feet, and he promptly crashed onto his back in the soft grass.But he’dflown, and that was amazing.

Lying immobile on the ground, the three moons glimmering far overhead, Leopold smiled.“I’ve never flown before.One time I had a few extra bucks and the airline was having a crazy cheap sale, so I booked a ticket to Phoenix.Just to see what it was like to go up in the air.But the plane was super late getting in because of a freak storm somewhere in the Midwest, and then after we boarded they found out that something was broken and they made us get off again.They finally ended up canceling the flight, so I just went back home.It sucked.”

Crispin had wandered over during the monologue and was staring down at him.“You didn’t try again?”

“Nah.They wouldn’t honor the sale price anymore and… well, what was the point?Something else probably would’ve gone wrong anyway.It always does.”

That was self-pity, so he shut his mouth.Unless a guy had a guitar and a decent singing voice, nobody wanted to listen to him whine about how the worlddone did him wrong.

“I’ve never been in an aeroplane either,” said Crispin, sitting beside him and folding his wings neatly.

“Do you even have them where you live?”It didn’t seem very fae-like.

“No, but I’ve visited your world a few times before.Once I collected a boot—just one, covered in sparkly silver rhinestones—and once it was an egg, and the other times… well, I’d have to refer to my notes.Anyway, none of those trips involved aviation, but I do find the concept quite interesting.You people claim not to believe in magic, yet you pay money to be locked inside a large metal tube and hurtled through the sky.”

Leopold sat up and blinked at him.“Airplanes aren’t magic.They fly ‘cause of… um… drag?Lift?The air goes over the wing and under the wing and um….”He made some gestures with his hand, but those didn’t help; he blew a raspberry instead.“Fine, maybe itismagic.”

Crispin nodded as if his point had been made.“I’d enjoy the opportunity to try an aeroplane, I think.Perhaps on a future mission.Assuming I’m ever assigned to anything again after this debacle.”

“You could get a different job.I’ve been fired so many times I’ve lost count, but I always find something else eventually.”

Leopold had meant to be consoling, but Crispin’s lips thinned.“Thereareno other jobs.Not for me.I am a desk fae.”And then he pulled out his phone and essentially begged Thea to beam them up, but she remained silent.

After a while, Leopold got to his feet and made another attempt at flying.It was glorious for about three seconds, at which point he crash-landed again.And again.He was getting bruised, but he figured it was worth it for those three seconds of joy.Crispin just watched, frowning, and didn’t use his own wings.

On his ninth or tenth try, Leopold managed to stay aloft long enough to do a barrel roll but then landed with enough force to knock the wind from his lungs.Once he could breathe again, he decided to take a break from flying.He sat beside Crispin, who was staring at his blank, cracked phone screen.

“Nothing helpful from Thea?”Leopold asked.

“Not a word.”

“Should we try to find another pond?Or something else reflective?”

Crispin shrugged.“Perhaps.But I don’t know where anything is in this place, and I’m not keen on wandering randomly.”He looked forlornly around them at the bright grass that stretched to the horizon, decorated here and there with flowers of various types, colors, and sizes.

Leopold followed his gaze.In the distance there was a brown smudge—mountains, maybe?Or given his luck, a giant steaming pile of?—

Entirely out of the blue, Thea began playing a country song, which made Crispin yelp with surprise.He seemed to have learned from his prior mistakes, however, and this time managed to keep a grip on the phone.

“Hey, I know this one,” said Leopold, surprised.“One of my foster mothers was a Dolly Parton fan.”She used to sing along while she cooked dinner, and she hadn’t minded if Leopold, who was eleven, warbled along with her.But one day a fire had started in the kitchen and, although luckily nobody was hurt, the house was destroyed.Leopold had been shifted to a different foster family.

Oblivious to this bit of personal history, Crispin was listening to the lyrics.“She’s singing about silver and gold.”

“Those are reflective.”

“Yes, but I don’t have any on me.Do you?”

Leopold patted his weird bathing suit thing, but it didn’t even have pockets.“Nope.”

“Then….”Crispin brightened.“The Temple of the Moons!There are several on Phaxsi, as I recall, and they are plated in precious metals.I wonder where the nearest one is.”He looked around as if expecting a shiny building to materialize.It didn’t.

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