“Go away, Keir,” I called, not bothering to hide the thickness in my voice.
The door opened anyway. Of course it did. Alphas and their complete disregard for basic privacy concepts.
“I said go away,” I repeated, still hidden in my blanket fort.
“And I decided not to,” Keir replied, his voice closer than I expected. The mattress dipped as he sat on the edge of my bed. “Drew said you were upset.”
“Drew should mind his own business.”
“You are his business,” Keir said, his hand finding what he probably thought was my shoulder through the blankets. “You’re all of our business.”
I didn’t respond, afraid my voice would betray the turmoil inside me. I couldn’t tell him what I’d heard. Couldn’t bear to see the pity in his eyes when he realized I knew the truth—that I was nothing but an obligation to them.
In one smooth motion, Keir pulled back the covers and lifted me into his lap, ignoring my squawk of protest. His arms wrapped around me, solid and warm, as he settled me against his chest.
“Let me go,” I demanded, pushing ineffectually against his shoulders. “I don’t want to see your stupid face right now.”
“My stupid face?” Keir repeated, one eyebrow raised. “The same face you spent an hour sketching yesterday morning while I was sleeping? The one you said had ‘criminally perfect bone structure’?”
I flushed, remembering the drawing I’d done—one of dozens I’d created over the past month, trying to capture every expression, every angle of the three men who had consumed my world. “I was practicing drawing annoying people. For a commission.”
“Hmm,” Keir hummed, not believing me for a second. His hand came up to cup my cheek, thumb brushing away a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I lied, staring at the collar of his shirt rather than meeting his eyes. “Just tired.”
Instead of arguing, Keir kissed me. His lips were gentle but insistent, coaxing a response I couldn’t deny even as my heart shattered.
I should have pushed him away. Should have maintained some scrap of dignity. Instead, something broke inside me—a dam of restraint giving way to desperate need. I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him back with a ferocity that surprised us both, teeth clashing, tongue demanding entry, my body pressing against his with reckless abandon.
I tasted salt from my own tears as I devoured his mouth, memorizing every sensation—the slight roughness of his day-old stubble, the mint on his breath, the way his pulse jumped beneath my fingertips. If this was the last time, I would take everything.
A low growl rumbled through Keir’s chest, his body responding to my unexpected aggression. His hands slid down to grip my hips, fingers digging in hard enough to leave marks. Good. I wanted marks. Wanted physical evidence of this moment that would last after the emotional wounds had scarred over.
“Finn,” he gasped when we broke apart, his eyes wide with surprise and darkening with desire. The blue irises had nearly disappeared, eclipsed by dilated pupils. “What?—”
I silenced him with another kiss, rocking against him shamelessly, feeling his body harden beneath mine. His control slipped—I felt his nails lengthen against my skin, the sharp points pressing but not breaking the surface. The wolf was close.
Perfect. I wanted the wolf. Wanted the raw, primal creature that responded on instinct rather than duty. At least that reaction would be real.
“I need you,” I whispered against his mouth, the words both truth and lie. “Need all of you.”
Keir pulled back, studying my face with an intensity that made me want to hide. Could he see the desperation? The pathetic, clinging need of someone who knew they were about to lose everything?
“My room or yours?” he asked, his voice rough with desire.
I knew what he was asking. Knew we were going to do this again, knew these wolves were insatiable—and knew I was just as desperate, wanting them so badly it physically hurt. I wanted this last time to be special, something I could hold on to when I was gone.
“Neither,” I whispered, thinking of my studio with its sitting area and panoramic view of the beach. “The studio. The light is better there.”
Keir’s eyes flashed with something dangerous—a hunger that went beyond simple desire. “Just us, or should we invite Cade and Logan too?”
I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent one more time, my tongue darting out to taste his skin, to commit the salt-pine-sunshine flavor of him to memory. “All of you,” I murmured, my teeth grazing his pulse point. “I want all of you.”
His body shuddered beneath mine, a tremor of barely contained need. “Finn, you’re playing with fire,” he warned, though his hands contradicted his words, sliding beneath my shirt to stroke bare skin.
“Maybe I want to burn,” I replied, beyond caring how desperate I sounded. Just this once more, I promised myself. One last memory to sustain me when I left. One final time to pretend they wanted me as much as I wanted them.
Keir stood in one fluid motion, lifting me with him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders, clinging to him like the world’s most pathetic koala. My mouth found his neck again, teeth and tongue working the sensitive spot beneath his ear that always made him growl.