Page 19 of Unrecognizable Player

“Nothing, I’m not pulling a face.”

“Yes you are. Was it gross? Was he a dick?”

“Not a dick exactly.”

“So he was a dick.”

Alice’s roommate eyes me from the kitchen when I take a seat on the couch, just in case I wasn’t already aware I’m overstaying my welcome here.

“No, he wasn’t. He was just your typical, stupidly tall, good-looking jock, and the apartment was perfect.”

“He was good-looking?”

You wouldn’t believe!

“Meh, he was okay I guess.”

She drops down next to me and puts her feet up on the coffee table.

“You know you can stay here until you find somewhere suitable.”

I’m sure her roommate clangs the spoon in her mug way louder than was necessary at that. Maybe all the giggling late at night wasn’t the best move if I wanted to endear her to me?

I help Alice make her mom’s famous beef and radish soup and we eat copious amounts of it in front of our favorite 90s rom-coms for my last night here. With her snuggled up against me, I don’t want to go and live with a rude hockey player. But the way her roommate looked at me before going to bed, and the low number in my bank account tells me I don’t have much of a choice.

I waituntil Alice is asleep to login to Bookgeeks and send a message to Kelsier38.

RedRum237: I’m sorry I haven’t been very talkative recently. There’s been a lot going on here.

You know that guy I was seeing? Well, we broke up. He cheated on me. So… yeah, that’s that.

I pause before hitting send. Is he going to think me telling him this is me saying ‘hey I’m single again! Back on the market over here!’ Because that is not what I’m doing. It just feels right to tell him these things. We might have stopped being ‘internet intimate’ with each other, but I still feel close to this guy in ways I don’t feel close to anyone save Alice – and she’s never seen the shape of my erect cock beneath sweatpants or made me come via instant message.

The next dayI scour the internet again in search of a roommate situation that doesn’t include a rude jock with cheekbones that could cut glass. But it’s like things only got worse since the lasttime I looked. Alice’s roommate is giving me the stink eye over breakfast waffles and so when Alice asks what my plans for the day are, I tell her I’m thinking about getting my stuff from Dorian’s and taking it to my new place.

“So you’re moving in with the jock?”

“Yup, looks like it. I just have to text Alexei and see if today’s an okay time to movie in.”

She stuffs some toast in her mouth before speaking. “Why so soon?”

“No time like the present,” her roommate chirps in.

Alice practically growls, but her roommate is pretending not to hear.

“I can help you. Let me know what Alexei says and we’ll take my car over whenever you’re ready.”

“Thanks.”

Honestly, the last thing I want to do is go over to the apartment I used to share with my boyfriend and pack everything into boxes and trash bags.

It feels like I’ve failed in some way. And even though I know Dorian cheating was not my fault, I can’t help but feel like a failed relationship somehow reflects on my failings as a boyfriend too. It doesn’t help that Dorian was the first boyfriend I ever had.

Alexei doesn’t get back to me right away, of course. Part me of me – the scared part – hopes he’ll ignore me and I’ll have to deal with this some other time. But another part of me just wants to get it out of the way.

When he does reply, it’s a curt, two-word answer.

Sure, whenever.

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