Page 7 of Unrecognizable Player

The message is way too close to the kind of messages we used to send before I met Dorian. Before we arranged to meet and Kelsier38 stood me up.

I think about ignoring it and logging off, but our relationship was never just about the sexting. We've always been friends too. And if he can’t sleep either, then something must be wrong.

RedRum237: Nope. I’m too wired.

Kelsier38: Me too. Wanna share what’s on your mind? Or is that too personal?

RedRum237: No details, remember?

Kelsier38: Ah. Okay then. Vaguely share what’s on your mind?

I snort, biting my lip so I don’t wake Alice.

RedRum237: It’s complicated.

Kelsier38: Isn’t it always?

RedRum237: I suppose.

Kelsier38: Hey, you sure you’re okay horror boy?

That nickname -horror boy.Now that’s a nickname that feels like… me. It makes my stomach swoop. A warm fizzle appear at the base of my spine. I’m instantly hit with a wave of guilt.

RedRum237: I’m fine. But thank you for caring. I actually think I’m gonna try and get some sleep.

Kelsier38: Any time. You know I’m here if you need me.

2

ALEXEI

Icheck my emails on my way to the arena. No response yet from the internships I applied for at a couple of banks and that one jewelry company.

There’s no one in the locker room when I get there, so I start changing into my pads and my practice jersey and check to see if horror boy has left me a message on Bookgeeks since we talked last night but… Nope. Nothing.

Is he waiting for me to send the first message? Or should I wait for him?

Ever since he told me he was seeing someone, I’ve tried to let him lead the conversation. Not trusting myself to keep things platonic if I let myself run loose. When you spend your whole life repressing something and then finally find someone you can be yourself with, it’s hard to put that shit back in the bottle. But I respect his relationship. Even if I don’t like it. I’m lucky he still wants to talk to me after what I did.

Pawlowski comes in when I’m taping my stick and slaps me on the back.

“Hey Cap, how does it feel to wear the C on your chest?”

I know he was in the run-in for captain when Wilde left last month, and I wonder if he’s secretly resenting me a little bit right now.

“Good.”Scary.“We’re gonna have our best season this year before we graduate.”

“A-fucking-men to that. It’s been too long since we found ourselves in the play-offs, this is our year.”

“I like that attitude.” Coach scares the shit out of us, lurking like that. “Simakov, come have a chat to me after practice, nothing serious, just wanna go over some plans for the season.”

“Yes Coach.”

As soon as we get out on the ice, there’s that voice, guiding me, telling me I need to be the best I’ve ever been. It sounds a lot like my dad.

There’s another voice, one that sounds more like me, a less certain voice, reminding me this is my last season, and that if I fuck this up, it’s all over.

We go through the same drills over and over again. Passing. Endurance. Shooting at our goalie Ryan with everything we’ve got.

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