Page 103 of Delayed Offsides

Caleb puked on me again.

“You think this is funny, don’t you?” I ask when Caleb projectile vomits on me for the third time tonight. Kid needs to learn to hold his milk down.

“Oh yes, I do,” Callie says, laughing and still on the phone. “See you tomorrow morning, Daddy.”

Daddy? Hmmm. I wonder if she’ll call me that in bed? I could totally get down with that.

When I toss the phone down, Mase is wearing rubber gloves now and a towel wrapped around his face like a mask. He pulls it down to talk. “You know, Ami wanted to have a kid butno wayI’m having one now.”

I stare at him completely serious and wrap a towel around my own face, hoping to spare myself the horror of getting pee in my mouth like he did. “I have no idea how women do this.”

“Because their hormones tell them it’s natural.” Mase points to Caleb who’s back to screaming at us like we’ve fucked up his entire night by being here with him. “There’s nothing natural about that.”

Four fucking hours we deal with this shit. And I do mean shit. We couldn’t get a diaper to stay on, nor could we get him to calm down. After wrapping hockey tape around the diaper, we get him wrapped in a blanket, and I turn on my favorite movie.Youngblood.

Guess what?

He doesn’t make a peep the rest of the night.

Mase smiles, looking over at Caleb cuddled in my arms, his eyes finally closed. “When he’s not crying or puking, he’s actually pretty cute.”

“Dude, are you kidding me?” I shoot him a look of disbelief. “Look at his father. He’s a stud.”

He rolls his eyes. “My kid will be cuter. And taller.”

“Height doesn’t mean shit.” It does, but I refuse to acknowledge the height difference between Mase and I. “Did you propose yet?”

Mase draws in a heavy breath and shakes his head. “Nope. Not sure how yet. Still coming up with a game plan.”

I nod and adjust the blanket on Caleb, praying it doesn’t wake him up.

Mase watches me and smiles. “You tell Callie you love her yet?”

“Nope. Not sure how yet,” I say, repeating his own words. And then I laugh lightly, my eyes on Caleb, hoping I didn’t just wake him. “Maybe we should take some advice from Remy?”

His face hardens. “Why?”

Fuck. I dart my eyes away from him. “Oh, uh, no reason.” I motion with my free hand to the TV. “How ’bout them Penguins this year.”

Mase isn’t having it. His jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. Mase is a scary motherfucker when he wants to be. Bright blue eyes can turn cold right before you and you’re left wondering how bad the next five minutes will play out for you. I should have kept my mouth shut, but you and I both know I don’t always think before I speak.

“You better fuckin’ tell me right now, Leo,” he spits, thankfully keeping his tone below the “don’t wake the fucking baby” level.

“He took Catelyn out the other night.”

“Out?” Mase raises an intimidating eyebrow. “She’s seventeen.”

“I don’t think her age matters to him.”

Digging into his pocket, Mase pulls out his cell phone. “That fucker. I told him to leave her alone.”

I don’t think Remy’s going to listen on this one, but he might surprise us. Regardless, guess who’s still sleeping?

The baby.

Dad win!

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