Page 99 of Sex. Love. Marriage.

“She mentioned that. I guess she’s helping Xianna move back to Austin.”

Noah shakes his head in what I assume is disappointment. “Fucking Nick.”

“Do you think he told her?”

“Or he got caught.”

“It’s so sad,” I add. “But he’s always been like that. I can’t imagine how many times he’s cheated on her and she didn’t know.”

“More times than I care to know about.”

Noah’s hand squeezes my thigh. I look over at him and he winks. “What?”

“Mom offered to watch the kids while they’re in town. I was thinking maybe we could go away for a couple of days.”

“You’d do that even with the shop being so crazy?”

Reaching for my hand, he holds it in his and then brings it to his lips, kissing my palm. “I’ve come to realize one very important thing these last couple days.”

“Never cheat on your spouse?”

He snorts. “Well that, and I need to make more of an effort.”

“We both do. I wasn’t exactly the best version of myself these last two years.”

“But you’ve been trying a lot harder than me. You take care of me, the kids, the house. I just want you to know it didn’t go unnoticed.”

My brow furrows, and I reach over and feel his forehead. “What did you do with my husband? Did you hit your head or something?”

He laughs and lets go of my hand. With his eyes on the road, I stare at his profile and the way the side of his face glows from the dashboard lights. “I did fall off the bed of Justice’s truck at the cemetery. Maybe I bruised my brain in the process.”

I swallow slowly. “The cemetery?”

His breath catches. “Yeah.”

“You went?”

He nods, leaving it at that.

My heart races with my thoughts. I’m hurt that he went without me, that he couldn’t do it with his family, but went with Justice. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why’d you go with him but you couldn’t with us?”

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. Maybe he’s thinking about his answer, or maybe he honestly doesn’t know. I’m surprised by the crack in his voice and the tremble that follows when he says, “I couldn’t be there with you.”

I gasp, tears surfacing. “Why?”

His jaw tightens, as does his grip on the steering wheel. He shifts his weight in the seat, leaning toward me. “It’s nothing against you, honey. I just… I couldn’t even… I didn’t know how to deal with it. It scared me, seeing her grave, because it was a reality. She’s there and not with us. That’s why I avoided it for so long.” He looks over at me, his eyes glossy. “I couldn’t do it with you because I knew you would cry and I didn’t want to look in your eyes again and not be able to bring her back.” He’s crying, I’m crying, and I hate that every single conversation lately ends like this.

Nodding, I look out the window, my vision blurred by the tears falling.

He reaches for my hand again. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I squeeze his hand in reassurance. “It’s okay. You did what you needed to do. I’m just glad you went to see her before we left again.”

“I’m glad I did.”

---