Page 70 of Sex. Love. Marriage.

Ashlynn makes her way into the kitchen with dessert in one hand and Sevi in the other. All he has to do is give her those blue pouty eyes, and she’s carrying him around like a baby kangaroo so he can lay his head on her tits.

“I think he’s using me,” she deduces when Sevi leans forward in her arms to reach the cookies on the counter. She gives him one and then snuggles him closely, kissing cheeks that love to be kissed. “Oh, how I want one of you.”

Sevi giggles in her arms, cookie crumbles flying out onto Ashlynn’s cream sweater.

“Hey, maybe take it easy on the drinking tonight,” Jason says to Kate when he, too, comes in the kitchen. “It’s still early.”

“Eat a dick, asshole,” Kate says to him, pushing him away.

“This is why we’re divorced,” Jason mumbles, rolling his eyes at her.

Moving through the kitchen, I try to stay busy and not think about my mom or what Noah said to me.

“That’s no reason to talk like a butt crack,” I hear Charlee tell Gretchen about her son. “He’s a bad influence on my daughter. I caught them making out in the broom closet.”

“Butt crack is considered offensive too,” Gretchen says, handing Kate another bottle of wine and draping her coat on the back of the chair at the island, and then her nose scrunches. “Wait, what part of the island did you and Noah bone on?”

My eyes snap to Kate’s. “Can you keep a secret about anything?”

She refuses to make eye contact with me. “Nope.”

“You’re missing my point,” Charlee says, waving her hand in Gretchen’s face. They arrived together and I’m assuming Steve might be hanging out with his naked friends. “What if he knocks her up? He’s eighteen. She’s sixteen.”

Gretchen groans. “He’s using protection. I bought him an entire box of condoms the other day.”

Charlee’s eyes narrow. “Great.”

Kate elbows me. “What’s your problem today?” Reaching for the olives on the tray in front of her, Kate takes a handful and shoves entirely too many in her mouth. “You’re testy.”

I sigh, feeling like I need to get some things off my chest. And damn it, these girls are going to listen to me. “I’m sorry. My mom is here and Noah hates her.” My eyes shift to the living room to see Fin walking Sevi on a leash. I cringe at what my mom is going to say when she sees that. “Which in turn, means Noah is pissed off. With Noah quitting his job and now the shop, it’s created all kinds of stress for us with trying to finish the remodel. And my mom thinks my kids are weird.”

“All kids are weird,” Kate assures me, only to have both Charlee and Gretchen nod in agreement. “They just have different quirks that make them weird.”

She’s absolutely right, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

After getting the steaks on the grill, I attempt to get Sevi off the floor and the leash off him before someone notices him acting like this. Noah is absolutely no help. He’s sitting in the living room with the guys watching football.

He notices what the kids are doing, so why is he sitting there doing nothing? It makes me want to punch him in the fucking throat.

“Why does eating a cracker make your mouth so dry?” he asks, eating a handful of Goldfish crackers Fin hands him, a peace offering for her returning his phone after hiding it for the last two hours.

“Are you even here right now?” Just then, Sevi flings himself on the floor again as I try to take his leash away, in fear he’s going to choke himself with it.

Noah pats himself down from his chest to his stomach. “I feel like I’m here.”

“Then stop eating crackers and help me with him.”

Again, why do men do this? Why can’t he help without me having to ask him?

“I don’t know why you make him take off the leash,” Hazel says, coming into the room, red-faced and sweaty from playing outside. “He likes it.”

If it isn’t the leash battle, Sevi didn’t want to put pants on. And the days I get him to put shoes and pants on, he won’t, or shall I say refuses to wear a shirt or walk without crawling. He’s by far my most difficult kid ever.

And Noah never does help me with him. He laughs and tells me, “It’s fine. Leave him be. I kind of like having a dog around.”

If he doesn’t knock it off today, he’s going to be sleeping in the dog bed with Sevi tonight.

JUST ABOUT THEtime we’re sitting down for dinner, my mom comes inside. The moment she’s in the same room with Noah, you can see his physical demeanor shift. His shoulders tense, his smile disappears, and he stops talking.

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