Page 54 of Sex. Love. Marriage.
Just so you know, that’s not said by me. No, that particular comment comes from Bonner, and I want to punch the little bastard for saying that because I know damn well what he’s whistling at.
I groan. “We should move. I don’t like our neighbors.”
Kelly rolls her eyes and pushes me away from her. “Hey, B. Is Ashlynn out there?”
B? They’re on nicknames now? I watch the two of them for a moment. I don’t like the pain in my chest when he hugs her or the fact that he is. I’m not usually the jealous type. Do you believe me?
Didn’t think so. When Kelly remarked about Ava earlier today, it pissed me off because I’m more loyal than a fucking dog. And I know Kelly wouldn’t do that to me, but my mind always goes back to the fact she cheated on her boyfriend with me. I know it’s a ridiculous thing to hold onto, but in the back of my mind, I always think about it.
When Kelly steps away and makes her way toward Ashlynn, I feel the need to warn Bonner. “Hands off Catwoman, Joker.” Yep, he’s the Joker for Halloween. You’re not surprised, are you? And his wife? You guessed it. Harley Quinn.
Bonner smiles wickedly as we watch my wife walk away. “Oh, relax, Drac. I’m not after your wife, but fuck, man, she’s rocking that look.”
Again, I groan and have to do some adjusting. He’s right. She’s definitely rocking the costume, and I want nothing more than to take it off her.
He hits me in the chest. “I have an idea. Come with me.”
Another groan from me, this time, very dramatic. “I don’t want to. Your ideas always end badly for me.”
“This one won’t.”
“Uh-huh.”
I’m stupid because I follow him outside where the others are gathered in my driveway. I’ve never been to a block party, and I can’t remember the last time I went to a Halloween party. In a matter of half an hour, the street we live on has been turned into a giant haunted house with music, lights, and fog machines. You name it and it’s out there.
I find the guys gathered near the entrance to the haunted house with a plate of brownies. I’ll get back to that in a moment. The conversation beside me is one you probably want to hear, and if you have boys around twelve, you get it. “Can I try the pop gun?” August asks his brother.
You remember Jason and Kate’s boys, right?
Standing in the street and turning from his dad, Jagger looks at the gun, then his brother. “Only if you let me shoot it in your ear first.”
I want to say, dude, no. Don’t do that. But… I don’t. It’s like that moment inFinding Nemowhen Crush says to Marlin, “Let us see what Squirt does.”
Well, Squirt gets shot in the ear and screams like Hazel. Don’t worry, he’s fine. Totally fine but yes, probably a broken eardrum for sure.
Jason takes the gun away from them. “Knock that shit off and go find your mom.” Then he turns to me and Bonner. “It took me forever to get these away from Gretchen’s son.” Jason levels us a serious look, but if you look closely, which I do because it’s dark and I can’t see a goddamn thing, there’s humor in his stare. “Don’t tell her, but her son’s high. But let’s be honest, Jayden’s high 90 percent of the time.”
Bonner smiles. “Now, we need to find HOA lady. Pretty sure she’s with the rest of the stuck-up assholes down by the wine bar.”
Steve perks up. “There’s a wine bar?”
Jason waves his hand in his face and nearly drops the plate of brownies. “Yes, but they’re fully dressed. Not your crowd.” Then he motions to his attire. “Clearly.”
I glance over at Steve and wish I hadn’t. I think he’s supposed to be Tom Cruise fromRisky Business,but his shirt isn’t long enough.
“Think she’ll eat one?”
“From you?” I ask. Bonner nods. “Not a fucking chance. Have Steve do it. I think she likes him.”
“Everyone likes me,” he notes, taking the plate from Bonner.
“I got a plan.” Bonner takes the plate back.
Jason looks over at me and pulls down his Batman mask. “This is a bad idea.”
I stare at Jason. “Has he ever had a good one?”
We all laugh when Bonner appears offended. “I have too.”
