Page 22 of Sex. Love. Marriage.
“Try and let’s see.”
He tries again, the muscles in his back tensing up. “See? It doesn’t work. I don’t have a foot-long dick like a porn star.” There’s a mocking edge to his voice. How dare he make fun of me, but my anger subsides by the expression of disappointment on my husband’s face that he doesn’t, in fact, have a foot-long dick.
I burst out laughing right in his ear. “Will you stop it? And besides, I have a shallow vagina. The doctor said so. No foot-long dong is fitting in there.”
“You don’t have a shallow vagina.” He laughs too this time, his head dropping to my shoulder as he exhales a long breath. But it’s in that moment when we’re both naked and cracking up at one another that I realize, we still have a connection. It’s blurry and torn at the edges, but it’s there, and somehow we need to make this work.
So we try a different position. “Grab my neck or pull my hair. Something kinky.” I straddle him, my legs falling around his hips.
He stares at me. Like I just spoke a different language to him. “Like rough shit?”
“Yeah.” I shrug, trying to wish the embarrassment from my voice. Swallowing, I glance down at him.
“You’re naughty, aren’t you? Is this what you do when I’m not at home? Watch hardcore porn?”
“Stop it. Be serious.”
The excitement in his eyes reminds me of the younger Noah, the one who took my virginity against a wall, and then knocked me up in his truck. That guy, he was convincing and so sexy with his dark, brooding eyes and sparkle to them. “I can’t be serious knowing my wife was watching porn. What the fuck were you watching on it? I need to know.”
Leaning in, I get close to his face so he can feel my breath on his lips before I wink and whisper, “I’ll never tell you.”
“So you admit you were watching porn?”
“If you don’t hurry up and fuck me, I’m going to get out my vibrator and take care of it myself.”
That earns me a glare. A wicked one. “Fine.”
Before we can actually get to the fucking part, Sevi returns to our door, barking, but then starts saying, “I come in?” and then, “Pease, Mama?” and directly followed by, “Daddy, pease?”
Just as I’m about to go tend to him, Noah stops me. “I’m warning you now, I’m going to go insane if we don’t finish. Like, legitimately might explode.” And then he starts pouting. “My balls literally fucking hurt at the moment.”
Sevi outside our door is hard to ignore, so we move to the shower where we can’t hear him. “Are we being bad parents if we ignore him?”
Noah doesn’t answer me. He’s too focused on getting me into the shower so we can finish. With determination, he pushes me up against the tile wall, and I glance down just as he enters me, his hands roaming from my hips to my neck. And this is where it gets rough, and I think maybe I’m being waterboarded.
After a few minutes, I wasn’t so sure I should have asked for him to be rough with me in the shower. Surely, this is dangerous. Is seeing stars and gasping for air supposed to be sexy? Is the lack of oxygen a turn-on? I think I’m becoming delirious and I’ve swallowed so much water I’m starting to feel sick to my stomach. Is my head hitting against the shower wall sexy? Not really. It’s painful.
But… and this is a big but, if it brings the spark back, what can it hurt?
After another few minutes, I change my mind, on the whole, “let’s be rough” thing. Fuck that. Whoever thought being physically hurt during sex was a turn-on has obviously been choked too long. By the lack of oxygen, they aren’t thinking clearly.
“Noah?”
At first he doesn’t stop. He’s into it. I get it. It’s hot, forbidden and erotic, right? The sounds of pleasure filling our bathroom, skin slapping skin and grunts and moans (or cries of pain in my case). So Noah pushes on. When my head hits the shower wall again, and I’m thinking I might actually have a concussion in the morning, his grip on my neck tightens. I scream out in pain. Actual pain, not pleasure.
“You’re hurting me!”
“Oh, thank God,” he gasps, stepping back and pulling out. “I can’t believe you made me do that.”
“I didn’t make you.” Standing there with the shower spray bouncing off his shoulder and smacking me in the face, I have to think of a way to get the water out of my face and keep this going. “You wanna try the back?”
We had yet to try this in our relationship, and it seems like something new. It’s either that or I let him come on my face, and the last time I did that, I couldn’t see for two days because I got some in my eye.
Naturally, as with any man when you talk about sticking it in a woman’s ass, Noah’s eager. “Fuck, yeah I do.”
I’m suddenly nervous when we have the lube out, in the shower with water. More on that later, but this is the point where I level him a serious expression. “What if I poop on you?”
Noah snorts, clearly unfazed as he rolls his eyes. “I watched five babies come out of your vagina, and you basically shit in the doctor’s hands while delivering Sevi. Pretty sure nothing will phase me now.”
