Page 15 of Sex. Love. Marriage.
There. You’re all caught up.
Jason straightens his posture, pushing back from the car with his beer in hand, and then nodding to the house. “What does your wife do?”
We all look to Bonner because we’re all that curious. He smirks. “Me.”
At least someone’s getting some. It’s always the newlyweds. I remember those days, before kids, before life got in the way.
“No, seriously.” Steve stares at Bonner with a serious expression. I don’t think Steve jokes around much because there’s no amusement to his tone at all. “She like some kind of CEO or something. This car retails at like 250 thousand.”
Leaning into the car, Bonner runs his hand over his jaw, smiling wider. “She’s an actress.”
At this point, I know where this is going. Don’t you?
“Yeah?” Jason coughs. By the grin, he might have an idea as to where this is going.
“Yep.” Check out Bonner’s face now. He’s being evasive.
“Anything we’ve seen?” Steve asks.
“Probably.”
We’re interrupted by the girls returning from their walk. My wife chases the kids inside and disappears into the house without even looking my way. Pretty sure that’s code for I shouldn’t be drinking in my neighbor’s garage and should be working on the house and the remodel I promised her.
Beside me, Jason nudges my arm and hands me another beer. “Your wife seems angry.”
I nod and take the beer. “Story of my life these days.”
He cracks open his own beer. “Mine too.”
And then I’m curious, so I ask, “If you’re divorced, why do you still live with your wife?”
“To make her miserable.”
I can’t tell if he’s serious. Can you?
After taking a long pull from his beer, he chuckles. “Nah, I’m just playin’. It’s easier this way. I can still be a part of my boys’ lives without having to do the whole shared-custody shit. I don’t want to be a weekend dad, and if we can at least make this work, it’s better for the boys.”
I never looked at it that way. It’s nice that they can do that and make it work.
“So what happens when you wanna get laid?” Bonner asks, watching his wife walk toward us with her cat in her arms. In the distance, I can see Hazel standing in the driveway, frowning that the cat left her.
“I wouldn’t know,” Steve mumbles dejectedly.
Clearly, I’m not the only one struggling these days.
“Me either,” I add, and immediately regret it. There are just some things you shouldn’t talk about with complete strangers, and sex is usually one of them. Married sex, even worse. It’s… I don’t know, it’s fucking sacred. Past dating, you don’t talk about it. But for some fucked-up reason, I opened my mouth and immediately regret it.
“What?” they all ask, staring at me like I just told them what Bonner’s wife does for a living. Or more importantly, who.
And then Bonner adds, “Married sex is the best!”
“Maybe in the beginning, but that shit wears off after a few years,” Jason points out, looking to me for confirmation. “Doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know,” I say, trying to avoid being pulled in the conversation. Do you notice he doesn’t say anything to Steve? We’re all a little nervous about him, trying to decide if maybe this midlife crisis thing is him deciding he prefers eggplant to clams. You never know. No judgment here, I swear.
Jason sighs. “I spent more time taking care of it myself than I did getting it from my wife.”
“I didn’t get married to masturbate,” I point out, wishing my drunk mouth would shut the fuck up.
