Page 5 of Promise Not To Fall

You wished I wouldn’t have told you, huh?

After the monkey man, there was Jimmy.

Oh, God. Jimmy. He was a motherfucking god in bed, hence theoh, Godpart. But that was about all Jimmy was good at. He was the lead singer in a rock band. We could fuck like there was no tomorrow, but after the actual act of sex, he was quite possibly the strangest person I’d ever met. Even more so than monkey man. Crazy thing about Jimmy was that I often thought of calling him afterward and asking him not to speak. Just fuck me.

So after Jimmy it took me some time to get back to dating. And I gained fifteen pounds by not dating. That was when my personal trainer, Jason, and I got acquainted when I needed to lose some weight. Boy, did he help me lose a few pounds.

Then there was Josh. He’s married, and I didn’t find that out until our fifth date. Motherfucker thought it was Utah or something. Judging by his name, he should have been from there. Only Thatcher’s come from Utah.

Then Justin. You know that story.

After a while, I got to the point where I was constantly asking myself, “What’s the point of dating?” and “What’s the point of anything besides a career?”

I still have no answers.

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