Page 61 of Promise Not To Fall

“No,” Liam says, swaying slightly. I have a feeling it’s not just from the beer he’s been drinking. His eyes are dilated, and I know what that usually means. They remind me of Revel’s, and he’s a coke head who can’t seem to stay clean for more than a week. “Let’s stay. I’ll give her a ride back to her hotel.”

And by “ride,” I know what that means.

Jake does too.

“I’m not talking to you,” Jake barks, finally looking at Liam. Wow, if looks could kill. His eyes never leave Liam’s as he directs his words at me. “Kendall, let’s go.”

Something in me tells me this is my chance. If I want him to walk away, now is that chance. I can make him hate me, and it’ll be easier for me.

“I’m good, Jake,” I say, refusing to look at him. If I look at him, I’ll just fall… and right now, I can’t do that.

He smacks the bar with his hand. “Let’s go. I’m being serious here.” Jake isn’t giving up without a fight. “You’re drunk.”

“So are you,” I point out, gesturing to the half-empty bottle of tequila on the bar. “Who cares?”

His eyes are hard and merciless. He’s trying to be a dick. There’s anger there, but hurt too. Before he will let me see why, he catches himself, and his expression smooths out. He lets out a sharp bark of laughter. “Who fuckin’ cares?” Jake’s expression is serious, his eyes watchful of me and our surroundings. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Like a fucking idiot, I glance at Liam and make this a whole lot more complicated. “Walk me home, Liam?”

I promised myself not to fall, swore I wouldn’t, and I didn’t listen. That’s the only explanation I can give myself for what I’m doing. Part of me wants to fuck Liam just to see what Jake will do. I wanted to, but I can’t. I’m not that girl. And Jake has a hold on not only my body, but, more importantly, my heart.

I stare at Jake, hoping my stare burns his skin and those eyes.

His eyes flicker from Liam to me, but offer me nothing like what I’m hoping for. I want to kick him, hating him for having this power.

Breaking our gaze, I don’t want him to know I’m dying inside that someone else’s hands are on me when I really want Jake’s.

Jake brings a beer to his lips, hiding his gaze again. And every time it breaks away from me, I feel the relief, like a fire shifting direction, leaving me alone, allowing me to catch my breath.

Liam is at the edge of the deck, stepping down into the sand as I grab my bag from the bar.

“You leaving with him?” Jake asks, waiting for my decision: him or Liam. Though he tries to hide it at first, he’s angry with me.

“Why does it matter?” My tone’s sarcastic. It’s meant to be. “I’m just another city girl to you. Should it matter who I leave with?”

Jake sighs, a pained expression flashes in his eyes, and his shoulders hunch over. “It shouldn’t, but it fucking does, Kendall. You shouldn’t be going home with him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

My gaze shifts to Jake again, when he turns to look at me. My heart stops. He stares at me, his expression turning from anger to hurt, and then back to anger, as if someone punched him.

As if Jake’s patience is gone, he steps forward, his hand on my wrist now. “You coming with me or not?”

“I’m just a city girl, Jake.” My eyes on him says a lot more than my words. “Remember? The one of the month?”

“Don’t do that to me.” He looks as if I just slapped him. “Don’t treat me like I’m the asshole because you shouldn’t be going home with him. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“And you do?” I ask without a thought.

His palm cups my cheek and then slides over my jaw and under my chin as he makes me look at him. “I guess not.” For a moment, he watches me, no reaction at all. Dropping his hand from my face, he holds his hands up, as if to say he’s surrendering.

Turning around, I walk away. I sigh, trying to expel the feelings. It doesn’t work. I do care, and now I’m staring at the mess I made.

“I’m guessing lover boy’s pissed?” Liam asks from beside me.

I don’t say anything to him. It’s when my back turns on him I realize I just might have made the biggest mistake of my life.

As I walk up the beach with Liam following beside me, the sadness creeps in, along with the guilt. Especially when I hear glass breaking in the distance. I have a feeling his record number of bottles broken in a night is about to be broken itself.

I thought for sure he would stop me. I wanted him to stop me. I told myself again if I let Liam walk me home, I’m taking him to my room. But it doesn’t happen that way.

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