Page 58 of Promise Not To Fall

This guy, he’s trouble. Jake Pierce is fucking trouble. I knew it from the beginning, but now I’m 100 percent sure of it. So much trouble. With his heart in it, he sings that song with so much energy I have to wonder if there is anything he can’t do.

Keeping his eyes on mine, he licks his lips and bursts out into the chorus. What gets me is when the song comes to the part where he says, “and I love you, too….” and winks at me.

What does that mean? Is he talking to me?

I’m ready to take my shirt off and scream the words back at him. Damn drinks. And then I think to myself, “Who am I? This isn’t me.” And then I say, “Kendall, what has become of you? You’ve been here five days. There’s no way you have feelings for him that would rationalize any of this. Stop thinking that way. He’s just an island boy enjoying a city girl.”

But then he sings one more song for me. “When A Man Loves A Woman.” This most definitely isn’t the club to do it in, given they played mostly hip-hop it seems, but Jake knows what he’s doing, and I think everybody in here gets a kick out of it.

Any man who can rock Michael Bolton not only owns my fucking heart, he has some serious self-confidence. Jake rocked the shit out of that song, by the way, albeit extremely drunk. He even falls to his knees before me and throws his head back with such raw emotion you would have thought he’d done this before.

I’d never in my life been sung to, even when I dated that musician. He never sang directly to me. I understand groupies, the thrill, all of that. Now more than ever, do I understand it.

When Jake returns, covered in sweat, and sits down at the table, cheers, claps, and whistles follow him. He grins at me, leaning in to kiss my cheek. “Enjoy the show, City Girl?”

“Is there anything you can’t do?”

“No. I’m pretty good at everything.” His immediate response makes me laugh.

“I can’t believe you can sing.”

He laughs. “I take it you approve?”

“Oh, fuck yeah! That was insane.” And then it dawns on me what his sister had said. “I bet you sing for all the city girls, don’t you?”

Jake cracks a sarcastic smile. “You would think that, wouldn’t you?”

After my conversation with Alicia, I’m trying any angle I can to find a reason why this isn’t going to work with Jake and me. And when the reason won’t come, I make one up. Believing her, when deep down I know she’s wrong.

I don’t like that I want Jake in my life for more than just an island fling. It actually pisses me off. I want this to just be an island boy and city girl thing, but my fucking heart, the needy bitch, she keeps telling me what to do. The problem is, that plan had ended when I went back to the bar that second night.

Jake said a heart is always on the line. I believe him now. He’s absolutely correct in that assessment. How is this city girl going to mend an already damaged heart when the time comes for me to go back to reality?

Jake and I don’t end up going back to his place like he said we would, since Zain apparently has his girlfriend there. I’m beginning to understand Jake doesn’t spend a lot of time at his house. It’s just a place where he sleeps. Occasionally, and not lately.

At my hotel room, it’s once again becoming a familiar sight for me: me standing halfway inside the door and Jake waiting to come in, or, as has happened on a few nights, carrying me in.

But tonight, his hands are on the doorframe, and he’s looking at me. I can’t focus.

His hardened expression doesn’t change, so I ask him again, “What scares you in life?”

“Everything aboutyou,” he answers.

Leaning inside the door, he runs his left hand over my hair and keeps his eyes on mine, letting me know he really had been listening to me earlier. “I’m scared. I’m not afraid to admit that. I’m scared that when you leave, I won’t feel this any longer.”

Shit.

Jake waits for me to say something, anything, but I can’t. Instead, my lips find his.

“Just say the word, and I’m yours, City Girl,” he mumbles against my mouth. “Whatever you want.”

I want to believe Jake, but his sister’s words, “City Girl of the month,” bring up something I hadn’t seen before. I hate the control he has over me for how little we actually know each other. The cynical side of me is preparing myself for my heart to be broken… by me. I need to let him go. Time and the reality of this situation are not on my side. Surviving the fall is the best I can hope for.

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