Page 58 of Untamed

“So you came back for the funeral then?”

“No. We had him cremated and had a funeral back in Texas. I came back to sign over the paperwork on the house and pay back your dad for his troubles. Where I come from, and how I was raised, you don’t walk away from something you owe.”

I laugh lightly, the motion sends pain through my body. “That’s not a rebel thing for you to say.”

He lets out a chuckled breath and reaches for the whiskey bottle. “Rebel?” He shakes his head slowly, scratching his jaw and then takes a drink. When he’s finished, he hands it back to me. “I’m trouble, sure, but don’t define me with a term. I love and work harder than most will ever believe.”

Taking a drink myself, I fight the urge to sigh. Not only is my mouth touching where his had been, but I also can’t believe this guy and how deep he is. And I’m staring at his jaw and want that scruff tickling my inner thighs. Makes me feel kind of pervy that he’s saying sophisticated stuff and I’m thinking about him tickling my girly parts. “I believe it.”

His eyes leave mine. I don’t think he wanted to hear that at all.

Crap. He’s going to get upset and leave now. I’m quiet, fidgeting with a straw of hay when Grayer shifts his feet. The shuffle catches my eyes. He’s leaning against the side of the barn now, three feet away, but it might as well be three hundred at the loss deep within me when he moves away.

“Why do you bother with Joel?”

I shrug, not wanting to admit that I’d let Joel control me for so long. “I’m not sure. At first he reminded me of Jamie.”

“He’s nothing like Jamie. He’s an asshole and you need to stay away from him. Why’d you even bring him here?”

“I thought I could impress you and you’d . . . I don’t know. And it wasn’t supposed to be Joel helping me. Danny was going to, but then he had to work.”

“To impress me?” He raises an eyebrow, wearing a smug expression. “Why, because you thought I’d fuck you?”

“Ass.” I roll my eyes and sit up. I reach for the bottle of whiskey in his hand. “Why’d you leave if Selena confessed to lying?” I know I just randomly changed the conversation on him, but I don’t like the way the conversations we have are always about me and what I should or shouldn’t be doing. There’s a reason why he left town and I’m curious as to what his thoughts are about it.

Grayer’s visibly shocked by the change in the conversation and the fact that I know why he left. “I was always going to leave. It really had nothing to do with her, but she ruined our lives here. There’s never been anything to come home to. Most of my dad’s family lives in Decatur anyway, but, the truth doesn’t always make things right.”

“Do you think anyone actually believed it?” I knew it wasn’t the truth, but was curious what he thought.

His response is immediate and hissed through clenched teeth. “A lot of people believed it.” He narrows his eyes and watches me take in the information. “I never touched Selena that way. Never laid a goddamn hand on her. Neither had Reid. Ty was dating her. They were both underage at the time and it was totally consensual. That night . . . she was at a fuckin’ college frat party.”

“Have you seen her since?”

“No. Neither has Ty. He’s living with me now in Decatur. They broke up right after that and he ain’t heard from her since.”

I’m hesitant to ask my next question, because I know the answer, but I want to hear him say it. “So that’s why you wouldn’t touch me?”

“Yes. I can’t do that. She cost Reid a chance at a world title and me a suspension.” He gives me another fleeting glance and then directs it at the field. “I wasn’t making that mistake again. As a bull rider, we don’t make money unless we’re on a bull. I can’t get suspended again.”

“Well . . . I’m eighteen now so. . . .” I let my voice drift off, like it matters to him.

He nods, but it’s not convincing. He knows I want him—and I think he wants me too—but it’s not easy to move from what we’ve been talking about to “hey, we can finally have sex.”

Grayer tilts his head slightly to the right. “It hasn’t been easy to resist you.” His eyes find mine. He takes in my face slowly, lingering on my lips. Huffing, he lets out a sigh of frustration, but keeps his stare on mine. My cheeks burn at the intensity. “Not easy at all. I got hung up that night and youwouldn’tlet go.” He swallows and sets the bottle on the floor of the barn. “The hardest part about bull riding is knowing when to give and when to take. Being patient and waiting for your time to make a move. It wasn’t my time to make a move, not sure when or if that time would come, but I knew the timing wasn’t right.”

My lashes flutter, and I can’t bring myself to look at him. “What about now?” After the words are out, I finally sneak a peek at him. I clear my throat over the awkwardness. “Does my age change anything?”

Tension crackles in the air, his piercing eyes intent on mine. He shrugs, not answering.

I give him a look and he knows what I’m thinking. This isn’t me justwantingto have sex with him. He brings out a desire inside me I didn’t know was there. Something buried deep inside me that makes my heart race with anticipation anytime he’s around.

“What is it about me that you want?” Grayer asks, his eyes beg, like he’s dying to know. “You know I’m leaving in the morning. I gotta be in Biloxi next week.” And then his expression softens. “Are you trying to bury the pain or believe I’m someone else? I’m certainly not Jamie. I don’tdorelationships. My lifestyle won’t allow it. So why are you pursuing this?”

“You’re right, you’re not Jamie. And I’ve never thought you were or wanted you to be,” I admit, speaking from my heart for once. I lift my eyes to meet his. “But one night I saw a man at a party and his eyes looked like diamond stars and gave me hope there was something else out there for me.”

His head tips to the side, his eyes barely visible with the shadows his hat creates. “Why?”

“Why what?”

Crossing his arms over his chest, he leans into the wall, his gaze studying me intensely. “Why now? I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“That’s exactly why I want you.”

Taking a step toward me, he places his finger over my lips before I can beg again. “I can’t give you anything more than tonight. I’ve . . . I’m not in a place where I can get involved with anyone,” he whispers. His tone gives my heart a thump, gives me that hope I’ve been holding onto. He’s not saying no. He wants me to be sure.

I’m sure. And not for the reasons I usually am. To forget. This time I’ll remember Grayer and the rush his touch evokes deep within my soul. I have this quote on a bracelet my mom gave me for my sixteenth birthday. I thought it had something to do with God, or the bible, but now when I think about it, I don’t think it does.

As he took her hand, he gave her all she had been waiting for; a shiver down her spine.~ Atticus.

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