Page 16 of How to Deal

When I don’t say anything, Tathan gives me a big forced grin, steps over the puddle and inside his apartment and closes the door. Not a single word.

Shit. He’s pissed.

Inside my apartment, Oliver is sitting on the couch watching me, probably wondering if he’s going to get yelled at or given a treat.

I rub his head. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

He has no idea what I’m saying. By his wiggles, once again he thinks I’m rewarding him, and I’m not sure I’m not rewarding him.

Sitting next to him, my phone buzzes so I glance at it in my lap. It’s a message from Casey, and then another from Zane, but I don’t read any of them. They’re used to me ignoring their messages. Instead, I cuddle with Oliver and think of ways to make this plan of mine work. You know, the one where I need to make Tathan miserable and not dance with him. Or look at him. Or talk to him.

And now I need to buy him a new doormat. I’m too nice of a person not to.

“I could just give him one of those pee-mats I set down for you when I’m at work,” I say to Oliver, considering doing just that. “Just in case you feel the need to pee on his doorstep again.”

I chuckle at myself, thinking I’m funny. Oliver doesn’t say anything, but cocks his head with his left ear flopped back. I reach over straightening out his ear. “I’m funny, right?”

He barks as if to say, “Yes, Mommy, you are.”

What’s not funny is that I’m here with my dog, talking to him all about my problems.

Everyone wonders why I am this way. And by everyone, I’m talking about Casey and Zane. They know what my deal is, but they wish I’d give someone else a chance instead of letting one guy ruin it all.

Everyone has a deal. A reason as to why they are the way they are.

Mine?

Colton Enning.

I briefly told you about him. We started dating my junior year of high school. Everything was great. We were both on the swim team and had that passion for swimming that drew us together. And if anyone could pull off the speedo look, it was certainly Colton. We even went to college together, both on scholarships for swimming.

And then—just three months into my freshman year at Arizona State—my dad was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. I had no other family, my mother died when I was just a baby, so I dropped out of school to help him.

Colton and I started drifting apart almost immediately. It was just a year into my dad’s treatment when they found out the cancer had spread throughout his body and his brain. I knew it was the end. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to give up.

Needing comfort one afternoon, I went to campus to see Colton.

Distant girlfriend, college boyfriend needing his own comfort. . . . You can pretty much guess the scene I was met with.

Walked in on him getting a blow job from his roommate’s girlfriend. While he begged and pleaded and told me, “Babe, it’s not what it looked like,” it’s kind of hard to deny it when your dick’s in another woman’s mouth. My final assessment? He’s a douchebag, and I deserved better. Weeks later, I found out he’d been cheating on me for well over a year.

My dad made it another six months before he passed away.

After that, I swore off men entirely. As far as I was concerned, I didn’t need the lying bastards in my life.

Sure, I had a few one-night stands—one absolutely amazing on Halloween last year—and the others not so much. Now I was just trying to stay away from the ones I knew would break my heart. Relationships just weren’t my thing anymore.

Casey always tells me, “Don’t let Colton spoil it all,” but he ultimately did. He really did. The saying “one bad apple ruins the whole bunch” sort of mentality. I loved him more than anything at the time, and when I needed him, he wasn’t there for me and did the inconceivable.

Certainly, that wasn’t going to be easy for me to move on from. It’s been two years and I still can’t.

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