Page 56 of Free to Fall

She nodded slowly, brushing her knuckles against my cheek. “Then let God do what He’s gon’ do. And in the meantime, you take care of yourself and that baby.”

I nodded, leaning in to hug her carefully. “I want you to come live with me in L.A.,” I said suddenly. “I’ll take care of you, Nana. Whatever you need.”

“Oh, baby,” she chuckled softly. “You got a whole life ahead of you. I don’t wanna be a burden.”

“You’re not,” I said fiercely. “I miss you every damn day. I just want you close.”

She paused, then smiled again. “How ‘bout this… When the baby’s born, I’ll come stay a few months. Help you get settled. If it feels right, we’ll talk about me stayin’ longer.”

I exhaled, relieved. “Okay,” I said, wiping my tears again. “Okay, that works.”

I stayed with her for a couple more hours, just holding her hand, watching her breathe. When Cleo and Isis finally returned, I didn’t speak to them. I just kissed my Nana on the cheek, promised her I’d be back first thing in the morning, and left before I said something else that might give her another heart attack. I was tired. Emotionally wrung out. But for the first time in days, I felt like I could finally breathe.

Another week had passed.Averi had flown back to link with Royal on the road, promising me she’d hop right back on a plane if I needed her. I told her she didn’t have to. I needed to stand on my own right now and I’d see her back in L.A.

I’d checked out of the hotel suite and moved into my Nana’s house full time. Felt right. Felt peaceful. She needed me, and if I was being honest, I needed her too. The mornings were slow and gentle. I’d wake up early to fix her breakfast, then we’d sit outside on the porch and talk like two old Southern ladies about everything and nothing. I’d run errands during the day or hit the studio while she napped or watched her stories. Nights were quiet. No drama. No noise. Just me, her, and the baby growing inside of me.

I hadn’t told her about the occasional cramping or how sore my breasts still were. She already fussed over me like I was made of glass, and I didn’t want her worrying more than she already was.

I was curled up on the couch in one of her soft throw blankets, my phone propped up against a pillow as I Face Timed with Serenity and Ari.

“Girl, how long you gon’ stay gone?” Serenity asked, sipping on something iced in a pink Bradshaw Luxe tumbler. “It’s been weeks.”

“I know,” I said, curling my fingers over my belly. “But I just need a little more time. Nana’s recovering, and I can’t leave until I know she’s good.”

“Well, you better bring your ass back for my studio opening,” Serenity warned with a smile. “I already got the press locked in, the vendors, everything. You better be there, Egypt.”

I held up my hand in surrender. “I’ll be there, I promise.”

Ari was lounging back in a robe, fresh out the shower from the look of it. “So, you really just ignoring Nas?”

“I’m not ignoring him,” I sighed. “I just…I’m not ready. Not after everything.”

Serenity leaned in closer to the screen. “He’s been blowing me up tryna find you. Talking about he wants to fix it, wants to explain…”

“Thanks for not telling him where I am,” I said, my voice dropping. “I’m not ready to see him, y’all. I know you think I’m being dramatic?—”

“We don’t,” Ari cut in. “We saw what that shit did to you. You needed to get away. But you can’t run forever.”

“I’m not running,” I said. “I’m… catching my breath.”

They didn’t press me any further. And I was grateful. We said our goodbyes and ended the call, and I sat there for a moment, just staring at the ceiling.

My phone buzzed again, another text from my publicist.

Paulette: Do you want to respond to the rumors about your relationship status?

I rolled my eyes and replied:

Me: No comment. Not now. Stop asking me, please.

Then I pushed up from the couch and walked outside where my Nana was sitting in her favorite porch swing, a shawl over her shoulders despite the heat.

“Hey, baby,” she said, patting the cushion beside her. I sat down slowly, the creaking wood beneath us familiar and grounding. “Sun’s nice today,” she said, squinting at the sky.

“It is.” I nodded looking up at the clear blue sky.

We rocked in silence for a while before she said, “It’s been real nice having you home. Even if you always hog the remote.” I smiled, bumping my shoulder into hers. “But I hate seeing you like this,” she added softly. “You been walking around with sadness in your eyes. Don’t even try to deny it. I know you.”

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