Page 55 of Free to Fall

“This is exactly why she never should’ve come back here,” Cleo hissed loud enough for me to hear. “Always bringing drama and chaos wherever she goes.” I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly, trying to be the bigger person, for Nana’s sake.

“I swear, you’re just like your mama,” she continued, arms folded like she was waiting for a choir of angels to back her up. “All noise and no sense. I told Mama not to get involved with raising you, now look.”

“Excuse me?” I said, standing slowly. “You’re not about to stand here and act like I’m the reason Nana had a heart attack.”

Cleo scoffed. “You are the reason. You came in here stirring the pot, cursing and carrying on like you always do. You wanna play family but don’t act like one.”

“And you wanna pretend you give a damn but don’t act like it either,” I snapped. “You think you can come for me every time I’m back in town and I’m supposed to just sit here and eat it?”

“You need to go back to L.A. with that sinful lifestyle. That tight clothing, them vulgar songs… you standing up there singing like your mama did. She was a sinner too, rest her soul.”

“Don’t you dare talk about my mama!” I shouted, voice trembling now. “She might’ve been a mess, but at least she ain’t pretend to be holy while looking down on everybody else!”

“Ladies!” The nurse came out with a clipboard in her hand, eyes wide. “You need to calm down or I’m going to have to ask you all to leave. This is a hospital, not a battleground.”

I hadn’t even noticed how close Cleo had gotten to me until Averi stepped in front of me, chin lifted. “Back up,” she said calmly. “You don’t want these problems, First Lady or not.” Isis stepped up behind her mother, eyes narrowing. Averi turned to her, unfazed. “You especially don’t want these problems. I suggest y’all both sit down and take a breath before y’all find yourselves in a whole different kind of emergency room.” Cleo and Isis stood frozen, offended as hell, but didn’t move.

The nurse cleared her throat again. “I’m serious. One more outburst, and you’ll all have to leave.”

With dramatic flair, Cleo turned on her heel and stormed down the hall, Isis right behind her, but not before they both turned and told the nurse, “Let us know when she’s gone.” As soon as they disappeared, my hands started to shake again.

“Fuckin’ unbelievable,” I muttered, sinking into the chair. Averi rubbed my back again, but I was too keyed up to relax.

The nurse came back in about twenty minutes later. “She’s stable now,” she said with a small smile. “You can see her, one at a time.”

I nearly ran to the room. Nana was propped up in bed, her skin pale but her eyes full of life when they landed on me.

“There’s my baby,” she whispered, her voice soft and raspy.

I rushed to her side, gripping her hand gently as tears welled in my eyes. “I’m so sorry,” I choked out. “I didn’t mean for dinner to go like that. I didn’t mean to upset you?—”

“You didn’t,” she said, brushing her thumb across my hand. “You have nothin’ to be sorry for. I just wanted…y’all to be family again.”

“I know,” I nodded, my heart aching. “But Nana… that’s probably never going to happen. They hate me. And I’ve tried to ignore it, but it’s real.”

She sighed. “Cleo and Isis… they been carryin’ their own pain for a long time. Some of it ain't yours to fix, but I still hoped before I go I could see y’all get along.”

I leaned forward, resting my forehead against her hand. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m serious, baby. When I’m gone, they’re the only family you got left.”

I sat up slowly and looked her dead in the eye. “No, they’re not.”

She blinked. “What you mean?”

“I got family in L.A. My girls. Serenity, Averi, Arielle…they’re my sisters. Their kids, they call me auntie. I got Creed and Brodie, Royal…people who love me. People who choose me. And I still got you.” She smiled then, eyes crinkling at the corners. “And now…” I hesitated, wiping my face. “I got someone else. Someone new.” She tilted her head slightly. “I’m pregnant,” I whispered, the words hitting me all over again. “I’m gonna have a baby.”

Her eyes widened, and then the brightest smile broke across her face. “Baby girl…”

Tears spilled down my cheeks. “I almost didn’t keep it. I went to the clinic. I was gonna…I was gonna do it, Nana.”

“Oh, honey…”

I sniffled. “I told Nasseem, and it went all bad. He said I should get rid of it. Accused me of trying to trap him. We said the worst shit to each other. I ain’t heard from him since.”

She squeezed my hand, face full of love and wisdom. “Men…get scared, Egypt. Especially when they think they ain’t worthy of something good. You hear me? I’m not sayin’ he’s right. But I’ve been around long enough to know that a man’s first reaction ain’t always his final one.”

“I still love him,” I whispered. “I wish I didn’t. But I do.”

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