Page 54 of Free to Fall

“Well,” she said, folding her napkin neatly on her lap, “I saw a snippet of that performance you did on Jimmy Fallon. Tight clothes and all.” She took a sip from her glass—lemon water, of course. “I suppose modesty ain’t fashionable no more in your line of work.”

I blinked. “Of course you’d find something wrong with the outfit.”

She smiled. “Just sayin’. When I was your age, we didn’t have to have all our goods hanging out to get attention. But I guess things have changed.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Like women being able to live for themselves instead of hiding behind a preacher husband and a fake smile.”

Cleo’s jaw tightened. “You’re confused, baby. There’s nothing empowering about selling sex in every song and outfit. Your mother, God rest her soul, chased the same fast life. Look where it got her.”

I leaned forward, rage rising. “What we not gon’ do is use my dead mama to push your repressed-ass agenda. Don’t stand on a pulpit judging folks when you don’t even know the whole story.”

“She was my sister!” Cleo snapped. “I knew enough! You think just cause my mama kept you under her wing that you better than us? You walk around here actin’ like you ain’t come from the same South Memphis dirt we all did!”

“And yet somehow I managed to bloom,” I shot back, “while you been withering in your bitterness for twenty years.”

Isis rolled her eyes. “Here we go. Egypt, queen of the spotlight.”

I turned to her. “Oh, you finally wanna join in? I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“You love acting like this music career makes you better than me, but at least I didn’t hop from man to man and end up with a criminal. Ain’t that what the blogs said Nasseem was?”

Averi choked on her wine. “Oh, bitch?—”

“Try again,” I cut her off. “Nasseem is a professional fighter, not a criminal. But since you wanna talk blogs, last I checked word was going around the city that you were fighting your ex in the Walmart parking lot. Memphis ain’t that fuckin’ big sweetheart, things get back to me still.”

Cleo gasped. “Language!”

“Girl, shut up!” I snapped. “Ain’t nobody buying your sanctified act. You always hated that Nana gave me love you never earned.”

Cleo stood up. “You ungrateful little girl! You wouldn’t have a pot to piss in if my mama hadn’t raised you!”

“I didn’t ask to be raised by her. I was left with her because my mother died, remember? Or do you only remember what makes me look like the villain?”

“You’ve always been the villain,” Isis muttered. “Always needed all the attention, all the sympathy?—”

“Because I ain’t have shit growing up!” I yelled. “You had a mother and a father and still came out hateful. Jealousy don’t look good on you, sis.”

Averi was on her feet now too. “Okay, y’all, this is insane?—”

“ENOUGH!” My Nana’s voice cut through the room like thunder. She slammed her fist down on the table so hard the silverware rattled. Everyone froze. Her body trembled as she stood, chest heaving, tears in her eyes. “I brought y’all here because I’m tired. I’m tired of watching the women I love teareach other down. Egypt, Cleo, Isis, y’all are supposed to be blood. But y’all act like enemies. And it hurts. It hurts because I raised y’all better than this.”

Suddenly, she clutched her chest.

“Nana?” I said quickly, rushing to her side. Her knees buckled. “NANA!” I panicked as she collapsed right into my arms.

“Oh my God!” Averi was already dialing 911. Cleo screamed. Isis backed away like she’d seen a ghost.

“Stay with me, please,” I whispered. “Nana, please.”

Her eyes fluttered. She couldn’t speak. I held her like I did when I was a kid and had nightmares. Rocking gently, crying and praying. She was my whole heart. And I’d be damned if I lost her too.

The hospital lightswere too damn bright. I sat in that cold ass waiting room trying to keep it together, but my knee wouldn’t stop bouncing, and my chest wouldn’t stop aching. Averi sat next to me, her hand gently on my back, silent and supportive the way only a real friend knew how to be.

I didn’t say a word. Not at first. I was too busy replaying it all. Nana collapsing into my arms. The way her eyes fluttered like she was stuck between this world and the next. The screaming. The panic. Me screaming for somebody to do something. I was still shaking.

“You alright?” Averi asked gently.

I didn’t get the chance to answer because Cleo stormed back into the waiting room with Isis at her side, her lips tight like she had a mouth full of vinegar.

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