Page 45 of Free to Fall

Her whole body pulled back like I slapped her. Her face went pale, eyes wide like I’d just broke somethin’ sacred between us. The tears started to well up, and I felt ‘em hit me harder than any punch I ever took in the ring.

“Wow,” she said, voice trembling. “So that’s all we’ve been doin’? Fuckin’?”

“E—”

She shook her head, then grabbed her bag off the counter. “I came here because I care about you. I came here to make sure you were okay. And you gon’ reduce this shit down to sex like I ain’t been layin’ in your bed for months? Cookin’ for you? Wakin’ up in your arms? Like I don’t know you better than most?” I tried to grab her arm, but she yanked away from me. “I ain’t about to let you or nobody else talk to me like I’m crazy. If you not comfortable sharing shit with me, then fine. But don’t disrespectwhat we have. And if that’s all this is to you, maybe we need to take a fuckin’ step back.”

“Egypt,” I said, voice low.

“Nah,” she said quietly. “You got it. If you don't trust me enough to let me in—and if you don't evenseeme for what I am to you—then what the fuck am I even doing?”

I moved toward her, fast and desperate., “Are you serious right now?”

She didn’t answer. She just opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it behind her like she was trying to take the whole building down with her. I stood there, stunned, chest heaving and my mind racing. The silence that followed was unbearable.

By the time I yanked the door open and sprinted into the hallway, from the window on my floor, all I saw was the back of her car tires disappearing down the street. And just like that, she was gone. I walked back to my condo, closed the door, turned toward the wall then punched straight through the drywall. Pain shot through my hand, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest.

“Nate, you fuckin' ruin everything,” I muttered, blood dripping from my knuckles. Then my phone lit up with Creed's name glowing on the screen. I snatched it up and pressed it to my ear.

“Nas, you good?” Creed asked, he sounded concerned, and I couldn’t even tell you how he knew I had needed him, needed my best friend.

“How the fuck am I gonna fix this shit?” I asked voice cracking. “Creed, you gotta help me fix this.”

“I’m on my way.”

Creed ain’t sayshit for a minute, just sat across from me with the bottle in his hand, twisting the cap off like he was giving it a second thought. The Hennessy was already opened, a couple shots deep between us, and the ashtray was stacked with the ends of Serenity’s pre-rolls. Normally I would’ve clowned him for pulling up with his wife’s stash, but I wasn’t in a joking mood—and he knew it.

“I ain’t gon’ hold you, Nas,” he finally said, leaning back in the chair with a long exhale. “You look like shit.”

“Feel worse.” I stretched my hand, blood stains on the dressing I had wrapped around my knuckles. I turned towards the hole in my wall and shook my head, making a mental note to call and have it fixed in the morning.

“Figured.” He passed me the bottle. I took a long sip, let it burn down my chest, hoping it would dull the fire in my head. It didn’t.

“This Nate shit gon’ bury me, dawg. I’m tryna keep my head straight but it’s like every time I get a little peace, he find a way to shake that shit.”

Creed nodded slow; jaw tight. “You know I always peeped that shit in him. Since we was kids. He ain’t never liked me.”

“I know,” I muttered. “You said it back then.”

“I ain’t say it to be petty. I said it ‘cause I saw it. He ain’t never liked that you had me in your corner. He didn’t like that I cared about you so much, thought I was tryna take you from him or some shit.”

“Yeah, well,” I sighed, looking down at my hands. “He took that charge for me, though. Ain’t nobody else ever done no shitlike that for me. He my family, but fuck, is this how family do each other?”

“That don’t mean he get to own your whole life behind it,” Creed said, sitting up, tone firmer. “You been payin’ for that shit every day since. You looked out while he was locked up. Put money on his books. Took care of him when he came home. And now he want you to throw your fuckin’ fight? Come on, bro.”

“I know,” I muttered again. “But he got me by the throat, C. If this shit get out, I’m done. Ain’t no promoter gon’ touch me. My endorsements gone. My name in the mud.”

“I’ll help,” Creed said, eyes locked on mine. “Whatever he askin’ for. Me and Lenox, we’ll cover it.”

I shook my head quick. “Nah, man. I ain’t takin’ y’all money. I appreciate it, but that’s my problem. I made the decision, I gotta deal with the consequences.”

Creed looked at me, real quiet, real still. Then he nodded. “Aight. But whatever you decide, don’t shut me out. We built this brotherhood from the mud. You fall; I fall. We always been ten toes.”

That shit hit me right in the chest. I reached across and gripped his hand, pulling him into a hug. “Love you, bro. Deadass.”

“Love you too, fam.”

We sat there in silence for a minute, both of us heavy but grounded in that moment. That’s what real brotherhood was.

---