Page 21 of Only When We Fall

I smirk. “Which time?”

A throaty laugh leaves her, “I’m not usually one to revisit the same dick,” she says bluntly. “But you, Kai Banks, have my attention.”

I watch as she rakes her nails along my thigh. “What do you say we take this back to mine.”

I glance over at Emmie and catch her looking over. Not much thought goes into my next move as I drag Alex closer, kissing her with the same hunger I feel for Emmie. I break the kiss and rest my forehead against hers, “Lead the way.”

Alex links her fingers with mine, her grip confident as she pulls me through the swarm of people. I follow, not really seeing the crowd. Just the look on Emmie’s face as she turned away. Was she watching to confirm I’m still the same prick she thinks I am?

The cool night air hits hard, but we make the short walk back across campus to her place. Alex fumbles for her keys while pressed against me. Her breath fogs against my neck as she mutters something about her flatmate being out. I nod like I care.

Inside, the lights are low. She kicks her shoes off and drags me to the sofa, her lips already on mine before we hit the cushions. It’s practiced. Heated. But it’s not enough.

Her hands are under my shirt, nails dragging down my ribs. I let her. I let her climb into my lap. I even kiss her back with just enough bite to keep her interested.

But my mind’s somewhere else. As always.

She pulls away, breathless. “You good?”

I blink up at her, catching a glimpse of confusion in her eyes.

“Yeah,” I lie, gripping her hips to keep the illusion going. “Just tired.”

She leans in again, kissing down my jaw. I close my eyes and let it happen. Let her do whatever she wants. It’s easier than stopping.

Because stopping means admitting that even when I’m with someone else, I’m still chasing the ghost of Emmie Carter.

And I don’t think I’m ready to face that yet.

Chapter Seven

Emmie

The campus is hushed in that in-between way it gets early in the morning, the sky still soft with grey and pink streaks, the air crisp enough to sting my lungs. My legs burn. My chest aches. And still, I run.

I’ve only been doing this for a week, long enough to tell myself I’m building a new habit, short enough that it still feels like punishment. But it helps. A little. It gives me something to do when the weight of everything else gets too loud.

My trainers slap against the pavement in a steady rhythm. The campus is practically deserted, apart from the occasional groundskeeper or squirrel darting across the path. Most students are still tangled in sheets and stale alcohol, and for once, I’m grateful for the silence.

I should be proud of last night. I didn’t cry. I danced. I kissed someone who made me feel seen. I laughed, even if it was louder than it needed to be. But now, with the sunrise peeling backall my defences, the truth creeps in like a slow tide. I saw Kai leaving, with her.

Whoever she was – tall, glossy, confident in a way that said she knew exactly what she wanted, and exactly how to get it. And Kai didn’t hesitate. Not even a glance back. They seemed into each other, in a way that screamed they were familiar.Is he dating?The thought makes me sick.

My legs slow. I press a hand to my side, bending over slightly to catch my breath. My mind is already doing what it always does, trying to rewrite the moment into something that hurts less. Maybe they just talked. Maybe he didn’t even sleep with her. Maybe.

But I saw his mouth on hers. I saw the way he let her pull him through the crowd. Not giving him a single reason to stay.

I groan softly and straighten up, dragging my sleeve across my damp forehead.God, why does it still hurt?

I kissed Landon. He kissed me. And for a second, I almost let myself believe it meant something. That maybe I could shift all my messy feelings for Kai onto someone kinder.Safer.

But that kiss felt like a plaster on a bullet wound. Messy and temporary. Landon deserves better than being my rebound and I deserve better.

“Shit,” I breathe. I spot him before he spots me.Kai.

He’s stepping out of one of the dorm buildings, hoodie unzipped, hair a total mess. The kind of mess that doesn’t happen from sleep, it happens when you’ve been wrapped around someone all night. He runs a hand through it absently, eyes squinting in the morning light.

He looks like regret and recklessness all rolled into one.

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