Page 84 of Sass in the Grass

“You’re not giving him much credit,” Alan accused. “He’s crazy about you, and I don’t think he’d hold that against you.”

“I don’t want to find out, okay? Are you deaf? Are you…stupid?”

Mike rolled his eyes while telling Jovian, “Not cool.”

“I’m sorry, Alan. I’m sorry. I’m just…tired. I didn’t sleep.”

“I’m not mad. Just…think over telling him, but it’s up to you. Now, what can we do for right now?”

“Nothing until I can get a hold of the owner of Chaps. That place, there’s at least five hundred people there on any given weekend. We charge a hundred a person, a buck fifty for a couple. We would be sure to pay off the mortgage.”

“What is the mortgage?” Kathy asked.

“Good question. No one will say.”

“I’ll find out,” Mike offered. “I’m pretty tight with True and Bernie, and if I can’t find out that way, I know the guy that takesover in the office for them when they’re teaching classes. I’ll bet I can get him to let me snoop around.”

“Great! Oh, Mike, that would be great. It would help a lot to know how much we need.”

“Okay, fine, then that is Mike’s job. I’ll call my husband. He always has ideas about doing these big things. Kathy, you and your boyfriend can keep True and Bernie busy after their classes, in case Mike needs more snoop time. Mike, when you’re done, go over to the classes and let them know that you’re done.”

“Done!”

For the first time, Jovian thought he could really pull it off.

Right before lunch, he got a text from Gary.

Jovian, the manager is sick, and he’s contagious, so he won’t be in for at least a week, and the owner is impossible for most of us to speak to, but there might be another way. The old owners are VIPs here, free memberships for life. They gave the new owners a good deal on the club back when they sold it. They live about eighty miles from the camp. If you could talk to them, I’m sure the owner will take their call.”

Jovian texted him back for the address and numbers, but all Gary could send back was the address.

Jovian knew he’d have to go there, to the town. Apishipa Creek. “What the hell kind of name is that?” He barely had enough reception to take the texts. The map app wouldn’t even come up. “What the hell am I going to do?”

Alan was headed to the Mess Hall, and he stopped him with the problem. “How the hell am I supposed to find this, Ape Shit Creek or whatever it’s called?” he asked after showing Alan the text.

“I know where this is. I passed through there once when we were in Southern Colorado skiing. But I can’t draw you a map. There are maps in the office.”

“Maps? Like on a tablet? How would they get reception if I can’t?”

Alan blinked at him like he’d spoken another language.

“Hello? Did you have a stroke?”

“Jovian…please tell me you know there are maps on paper, right? Even made into books called atlases?”

“Maybe in antique stores,” he snorted.

“I’ll…I’ll go get a map and write you down directions.”

“Helpful, but don’t you dare get me lost out in these woods where some hick might try to take me home to his lair.”

“Oh, like Cherokee?”

Jovian lost his smirk and said, “Not funny!”

While Jovian sat eating with his friends, making more plans that he listed on his phone, Alan came back with a piece of paper that had a list of instructions on how to get to the former owners.

“Oh, this tells me step by step, like my map app! How to get to Ape Shit Creek. A Pee Shush Creek. Ape Shawl Creek. Whatever!”

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