Page 50 of Sass in the Grass

Jovian couldn’t even speak after that. A secret wish of his had always been to be with a man that wanted only him, that wanted Jovian all to himself. Possessive, maybe not crazy like, but enough that he’d want Jovian to just be his.

“Possessive?”

“Is that a problem?”

Jovian felt the tears gathering in his eyes, so he looked away as he willed them away. “No,” he croaked and hated his voice for betraying his emotion.

“Jovian, look at me.”

He did, but it wasn’t easy. “Yeah?”

“I do like you, okay? I get this feeling that you don’t quite believe it, which goes against that…that ego you pretend to have.”

“Pretend?”

“Yeah. Be real with me. That’s all I can ask. Be real and forget other guys. If we’re together, we’re together. Okay?”

“Are we now?”

“No,” Dixon answered quickly. “It’s a little early for that. But in time, we’ll see where and how this goes, and if we think it’s worth it, we’ll be together.”

Someone just telling him up front, being real, as he’d put it, was different for Jovian. Usually, guys wanted to fuck. Then when he waited for them to call, he waited without ever hearing the phone ring.

“My friends, they worry I will hurt you. I won’t. I didn’t really think I could.”

“Oh, you could. I may be big and tough, but I have a heart, Jovian. It’s as fragile as anyone’s.”

Knowing that, Jovian worried it was true, that somehow, he’d hurt the man.

How the hell could he change so drastically in such a short time? How could he feel like he was falling for a guy that had almost none of the qualities he’d thought he’d wanted? “Dixon, uh, this is weird and new for me.”

“I know,” he said as he pinched Jovian’s chin. “I’ll walk with you as you get used to it, if it gets that far.”

They danced another dance, but the second one had them silent as they barely swayed side to side with one another. Being wrapped in Dixon’s arms was warm, safe and it felt like he belonged there, but that scared him. They were worried Jovian would hurt Dixon, but in that moment, Jovian was worried he’d be hurt.

Something real. He’d never wanted anything real. Not on the surface, anyway. Those were deep thoughts that were pushed so deep, he barely acknowledged them. Over and over, Jovian told himself that he just wanted a rich daddy to spoil him.

After the second dance, an argument broke out that Dixon had to tend to. While he was gone, Jovian moved into a dark corner of the Mess Hall to catch his breath. Jovian felt that any minute, he’d faint from hyperventilating.

Mike found him there and asked, “Are you okay? You’re kinda pale, I mean, more than usual.”

“You know the sun is terrible for your skin, Michael.”

“We lucky melanated ones have less concern, but yeah, sun isn’t great for anyone’s skin for too long. Now, will you tell me what’s really on your mind?”

“Nothing,” he snapped. “Why are you always trying to dig into my emotions when I don’t want to feel emotions?”

“I see. Vulcan-style, no emotions, only logic. Wait…no, you hate logic too.”

Jovian cracked a smile at that. “Shut up.”

“I know what’s up, Jovian. You like that guy, and it scares you. You’re not alone, you know. Kathy is freaking out right now, too.”

“Why?” he asked as his heart jumped to his throat. “Did her makeup smear?”

Chuckling, Mike shook his head. “No, you dumbass. She’s scared because she likes that guy from Utah. Look,” he said as he grabbed Jovian’s hand and lead him past the people standing in front of them.

On the dance floor, Kathy was dancing with a guy that was a little shorter than her, a little chunky, but he had a very nice smile. “He’s…okay.”

---