Page 5 of Sass in the Grass

“Pride Camp? Oh, honey, you’d like to go be a counselor?”

“No, Mom, it’s not for kids, it’s for adults and I don’t know, we’re supposed to connect with people in our community that maybe aren’t in our community.”

“You’re not making sense, Jovian. Are you that distraught?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I really want to go to this camp, Mom,” he whined while rolling his eyes hard enough to hurt. “I need to make friends.”

“Honey! Just tell me how much to send you. I’m on the app now.”

“Twelve hundred, Mom, but maybe a little extra. I’ll need new clothes.”

“Two thousand enough?”

“Three would be better…”

After the whirlwind shopping trip to buy clothes for the camp, Jovian ordered a coffee while waiting on the email that he’d gotten into the camp. He had to be recommended, for fuck’s sake.Recommendedto go live in the dirt for a month and a half.

Gary had given his recommendation before Jovian even asked him for it. He was laughing on the phone, too. Jovian wondered where all their respect for him was, that they always wanted, but it was what it was.

He got the email just before midnight and two days later, he was on his way to the mountains.

South, then west, he traveled in his silver Chevy Camaro, the one that he’d gotten brand-new for his last birthday. Twenty-five, halfway to thirty, and closer every single day, already inching to being an old man.

Once he lost his looks, he’d be alone forever, he knew. All he’d had all his life were his cute face, tiny body and smarts. Only having smarts wasn’t something to look forward to for him. He had to lock down a rich daddy while he had the ass up high and tight.

When he arrived, he was horrified to find the parking lot next to the camp. It was dirt, no attendant, and anyone and their uncle could try to steal his car. He planned on giving the owners a piece of his mind about it, especially after stepping out of his car and into a puddle.

Three-hundred-dollar sandals, ruined after being at the camp for ten seconds. It didn’t bode well. “I am going to strangle Gary when I get back to Denver!”

As he stood shaking his foot, a woman shouted out to him then walked to him. “Hey, you okay?”

“I stepped in this puddle, so no, I’m not okay. Who do I speak to about reimbursing me for my shoes?”

Her laugh was brief, as she cut it off by biting her lips together.

“You think this is funny? These are new!”

“Sorry. It’s just, why would you buy such nice things to wear to a camp?”

There were about a thousand things he could say to her, but she was obviously a lesbian, with her cropped blue hair and flannel sleeveless shirt, and couldn’t begin to understand fashion. “Do I have to be here in rags?”

“You have got to be Jovian. I got a call, warning me about you. I’m Lou, by the way, if you care.”

“Excuse me? Warned you?”

His temper was about to explode, but she didn’t seem to notice. “I’ll help you with your bags. We’ve got you set up in Cabin C.”

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

A long, exaggerated sigh came from her thin lips that could use some touch of color. “Let’s…go and I’ll show you around.”

He’d brought only four bags, but she seemed to think that was a lot. Jovian dragged the two he had, dragging them even though they had handles and wheels, but wheels weren’t meant for the terrain at the camp. Dirt lot, then grass, interspersed with rocks and plants.

There were people everywhere, all different queers in one place, like a Pride parade exploded. He had little use for any in the community except cute gays like him, or the older, cultured daddies he sought. It would be tedious at best.

Hair in every color, clothes covered in rainbows, there were even a few skipping. He felt like shouting at them to have some pride, but he supposed they thought they were, being at Pride Camp and all.

Two lines of facing cabins were just past a few other buildings, and he noticed one of them was called the Mess Hall. His entire ass clenched at the name. Mess. That was what the next six weeks were about to be, a damn mess.

---