Page 38 of Sass in the Grass

“Oh, like when a guy has nasty tasting cum.”

Kathy barked a laugh, then said, “Yeah. Like that.”

“Got it. Okay, and? Do I eat them raw? I know a girl who does the raw food diet, but I never saw the attraction.”

Alan fielded that one. “If you can cook things to easier eat them, good. A fire is good unless you aren’t in a place whereyou can contain it. A fire is good to alert authorities where you are located, and to keep you warm, keep predators away, but starting a whole damn wildfire isn’t worth it.”

“Well, duh,” he said, offended that they thought he was that careless.

Mike stepped in, “Did you watch how to make a fire without matches?”

He almost said no, but then he remembered watching Dixon’s body as he was squatted on the ground, rubbing sticks together. “Well, I watched Dixon, but what he was doing…not so much.”

“Not so much,” Alan repeated. “Okay, then, crash course in fire making. Take off your shoelace.”

“My shoelace?”

“Yes, Jovian. We’re going to use a bow to make a small fire.”

Perplexed as he’d ever been, Jovian took off his shoe and took out the lace, handing it over to Alan. “Here.”

Mike handed Alan a crooked stick and Jovian watching in wonder as Alan made a bow, like a bow and arrow, from the stick and shoelace.

“You’ve only been here this year, I thought.”

“Yeah.”

“How do you know this?”

“I watched Dixon. He showed us all, and walked us through it step by step, so it was clear. Not all of us were watching his muscles and ass.”

Jovian giggled again, admitting, “Then you missed out.”

“Yeah, so did you. And if you take his advanced courses, try to do both. You’re smart enough.”

Jovian’s preened over the praise. “You think so?”

Alan smiled and repeated, “You’re smart, Jovian. Use it and you’ll endear yourself to Coach Dix. If he’s into you, and I’m pretty sure he is.”

“Really?”

Mike commented, “Really, Jovian. We’ve all seen it.”

“Nice of you all to tell me! Fine, show me how to make a fire,” he mocked and sat on the ground before he thought about it. “More clothes ruined! This place is costing me a fortune.”

“Okay, you need really dry wood, something that’s been on the ground, hopefully not rained on or snowed on recently,” Mike told him as Alan found a nice straight piece of wood to attach the bow to. “First of all, make your tinder.”

“Tinder? I’m not on Tinder, I’m on Grindr, and I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

He watched as Mike and Alan exchanged looks that were pure frustration, but Kathy, the gloriously patient one, said, “Tinder is something that is thin and catches fire easily.”

“Oh, like my friend Ci,” Jovian said with a giggle.

“Jovian, pay attention. I swear, you have ADHD.”

“I used to be on Ritalin,” he said, remembering the teachers that had recommended it to his mom.

“Explains a lot. Okay, well, strip off dried bark, slivers of wood, which you can get by breaking it up with a rock, then strip pieces, like…like string cheese, but harder.”

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