Page 23 of Sass in the Grass

“Right. Well, it was nice talking to you, Ci.”

“You too, Jovian! Call me anytime, oh except for tonight. We’re going to a club here where the waiters all dress in tight leather pants.”

She ended the call, but Jovian didn’t pull the phone away from his ear for at least a minute. “Gee, thank you, Ci,” he said snidely as he finally dropped the phone on the bed, surprised when it didn’t shatter on the stiff mattress.

Mike and Kathy saw him once they entered the tent. “Ready for dinner?” Mike asked him. “Fish tonight.”

“What kind of box did the fish come in?”

Kathy giggled, but Mike answered, “Caught fresh. One of the other cabins went fishing today.”

“I’m not hungry either way,” he sighed. “My life is over.”

As they neared his bunk, Mike asked, “What happened?”

“I was doing a facial mask, and that is the exact time Dixon came into the latrine. He saw me with a green mud mask. I’m done. I’m lying here the rest of the time I’m here. Maybe one of you would be good enough to bring me food and water now and then.”

After letting out a long sigh, Kathy walked over and sat on the next bunk, laying her hands demurely on her lap. “It’s all that bad, huh?”

“It’s the worst. It’s horrifying.”

Mike grunted, “Good lord.”

“Well, it is!”

“Jovian, I’m empathetic, sure, and I’m not saying anyone’s problems are less than others, but I think you need some perspective. The second I told my mother I was trans; she kicked me out of her house. Yeah, I was nineteen, but I was in college, and I didn’t have a dime. Friends took me in, thankfully, but I still can barely keep from crying because my mother couldn’t accept me. There are a hundred stories like that, or much worse, here.”

“Yeah, man, like I know you like the dude, but stop putting all your eggs in his basket, no matter that the man has a big basket.”

“You’re not helping,” Kathy told Mike.

“Sorry.”

“I know! I know, my problems are small, but to me, they’re big. I’ve embarrassed myself in front of him so many times now! What the hell else can I do?”

“Be real with the man.”

“Don’t you get it? This is the real Jovian. This is me.”

“I don’t mean that. Be real with him. Stop trying to get his attention and maybe just talk to the dude.”

Kathy was nodding in agreement. Sitting up, he looked from one to the other in awe. “You guys really think that works? Do either of you ever get laid?”

That had them both rolling their eyes. “I gotta hand it to you, Jovian,” Mike said as they both rose and started for the cabin door. “Come and eat and stop pouting. I guarantee he’ll never like a pouty little princess.”

“Rude,” Jovian said to himself, but as he did, his stomach groaned. “Traitor,” he said to his stomach. “Fine. I’ll go revel in my humiliation.”

Expecting the entire camp to turn and laugh at him once he entered the Mess Hall, he was a little surprised when no one took notice of him at all. Not even Dixon, who was sitting at a table with a bunch of admirers.

Well, he would just ignore him. That was what he hadn’t tried. Playing hard to get had never been his thing, but he could always try something new.

Once he sat with Mike and Kathy, he took a tiny bite of the fish, expecting it to be terrible, but actually, it was delicious. “This is wonderful!”

“True cooks the fish. She does it over her grill out back and spices it perfectly,” Mike bragged, as if True was his partner instead of Bernie’s

“It is really good,” Kathy agreed. “I think we’re fishing next week. Mike always gets his limit. We’ll get seconds.”

“I’m watching my figure, so one is enough for me.”

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