Page 21 of Sass in the Grass

“You weren’t listening. I get it, you don’t want to be here, but while you are here, maybe learn something. I would not leave you lost, but you found your way back. Be proud of that. There’s blessed little in this life we can be proud of, and that is one for you.”

Dixon was gone, and his temperature normalized. He found he could breathe again. “What the hell is it about that man?”

He got back to the cabin and lay on his bunk, miserable again. He thought of calling Ci again, but her advice didn’t seem to work. For him to be cute, he needed certain things, and control over his environment was one of them.

In a place he had never been, with people he’d never known, camping, for fuck’s sake. It was nearly impossible for him to be cute in a camp.

Kathy was walking over to him, a pretty yellow scarf around her neck to match her yellow shorts and pale-yellow top. “Are you okay?”

“Did you already hear?”

As she sat on the bed next to him, she said, “Yeah, that you got a little lost. I’m sorry. It’s really easy to, that’s why we’re supposed to be in a buddy system if we leave camp.”

“Um, no one told me that!”

“Well, for one, yeah, they did. Bernie stressed it that first day. And two, you weren’t supposed to go far from Dix and the group. Just far enough to see that everything in the woods looks the same.”

If he was getting another lecture, he’d lose his mind. “Thanks for the advice, but I think I should just leave. Maybe I can move to another city, where I can still go to clubs.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

He knew he couldn’t leave Denver. His entire life was there, and his mother had begged him not to ever move away. If he did, she’d likely throw one of her patented hissy fits and cut him off from his allowance.

“Well, we’re going to the night games, if you’d like to join us.”

“I can’t show my face. I’m humiliated.”

“Why?”

Jovian looked over at her, incredulous. “What do you think we’ve been talking about?”

“Because you got lost? Jovian, no one’s laughing at you. They feel bad for you! It could happen to any of us, and believe me, you’re not the first. The woods can turn you around so easily, which is why they made Coach Dix’s class mandatory.”

“I can’t think when I’m around him,” he confessed. “It’s like he sucks all the power from my brain.”

“You like him. I can’t blame you, but maybe the way to get to him is to listen to his classes and try to do what he wants.”

“That’s not me, Kathy. I can admit that. I don’t like school, I don’t like being told what to do. My skills are few but fierce. I’m adorable. That’s…that’s all I have to give anyone.”

“I think you’re counting yourself really short, Jovian, but I can’t tell you that. Why would you believe me?”

“I wouldn’t. No offense.”

“None taken,” she whispered, then left him alone in the cabin.

It had been a hard day and all he wanted was a spa treatment. Since there was no spa within easy commute, he pulled out his bags and found his skin products. A nice facial, even if he had to do it himself, was in order. He could let the moisture melt away his troubles for a little while. One thing he’d learned about spa days. They were better than drinking or drugs to rid him of anxiety.

After taking his bag to the latrines, he scrubbed his face to exfoliate, then he stared on the mud mask that cost a hundred dollars a pop. Jovian swore by it, however, and considered it his one splurge, though, if he were honest with himself, he’d understand his entire life was a splurge.

It was puke green in color, but it smelled floral and fresh. With the clay and camphor, it pulled out impurities, and with red clover, it closed his pores nicely. Though Jovian liked to brag, his pores were super tiny.

The headband he wore to keep his hair back was soft pink with bunny ears. Ciana had given it to him when they’d gone to a spa in LA when they’d taken a trip there. He loved it, but it wasn’t exactly flattering. With the mask, he looked like a bunny that had gotten too close to a cow’s ass when it had diarrhea.

No matter. The two people that had come into the latrine while he was there mostly ignored him.

But then it happened. When he was his most un-cute, possibly the most un-cute he’d ever been in his life, it happened.

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