Page 17 of Sass in the Grass

“Jov, what the hell? I am in the middle of a mani/pedi. I’m in no mood for your theatrics.”

“Meow, bitch.”

As she laughed, he groaned.

“Fine. What drama is happening now?”

“There’s a guy here, a man that is so fine! But…the first time he really sees me, I’m…not…cute.”

“Not cute? No makeup? You were in your laundry day boxers? I need more details.”

“Just,not cute. What do I do?”

“Be cute. Every time he sees you from now on, be cute. Smile, flirt, shake that tiny ass, you know, be you.”

“Be me,” he said, sitting upright. “Of course! Thanks Ci. How’s Europe?”

“Eh, it’s foreign people, doing foreign things, but at least they look fabulous doing them. Gotta go. I’m about to get my toes eaten by those gross little fish. Ciao.”

Oh, to be in one of those comfortable chairs, getting his feet nibbled by the little fish, drinking a latte and laughing at the old ladies in the other chairs with Ci. Instead, he was lying on a hard bunk in a camp filled with strange people, crushing on a guy that saw him in an inopportune moment.

Be cute. Well, he could be cute. He’d always been cute. He’d have to erase that tragic moment when Dixon saw him from the big man’s memory bank and replace it with his tight little ass.

It was doable! Jovian vowed to work slower the next day, cleaning the damn latrines. He’d bring his makeup, his brush, breath freshener, in other words, his entire arsenal. After he was finished, he’d get all pretty and make Dixon notice him for something good. Instead of the moments after swallowing a damn bug.

Yeah, he’d be ready for the man the next time.

He got scrubbing the next morning after getting up earlier than normal, cleaning up and getting three cups of coffee. As he scrubbed, he kept an ear out for anyone entering. The sign was in front of the door, so anyone entering had to be there to inspect.

As he made those toilets glisten, he hummed to himself, keeping his mind on Dixon. The man was truly a god, that body…that voice…

He could see himself wiling away a few weeks getting dick like that. Maybe he could get through the camp with some iota of a good time.

Another day when Dixon didn’t show. He took his time, then still waited for over an hour, until people complained that the other bathroom was full and they needed the one he’d cleaned.

He took down the sign and stowed the cleaning supplies, then went on a mission to find Dixon.

He’d confront the man, if he had to, and ask him to go inspect. But when Jovian found him, he saw Dixon was teaching some class over by the boathouse. Hiding in some trees, Jovian listened to part of the lesson.

“Now, you are going to see a lot of tracks when you’re out hiking, and I promise, most are just animals that don’t want to see you anymore than you want to see them. The booklet that Peaches is handing out right now gives you the visuals of all the animals in this area. You’ll need to have them memorized for the survival camps, if you’re joining. Remember, that is no mandatory, but campers seem to enjoy them.”

Survival camps. Dixon ran those. Alone in the woods together. Well, besides the other campers, but many more chances to sneak away with Dixon than at the main camp.

He went to the Mess Hall to get some coffee and found Kathy and Mike at the table, eating muffins. He warned, “You knowthose will go straight to your asses, and neither of you can afford that.”

As Mike laughed, Kathy smirked at him. “Must be nice to have a narrow ass.”

“Narrow but perky.”

“Listen, Jovian, keep those remarks on the DL here, huh? Body shaming is a big no-no. Didn’t you read the rules?”

“Are you going to snitch on me?”

“Well, no, but…”

“Then, no, I didn’t read the rules, and it was a friendly comment to help you. That’s all.”

Kathy groaned, “So helpful.”

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