Page 14 of Sass in the Grass

“Ididn’t come by choice,” he said, with a definite snootiness in his voice that the others ignored.

“Well, so far, it’s lovely,” she said, smiling. “The mountains, oh, they’re so pretty.”

“Amy is from the east. She doesn’t get into many mountain areas.”

“Prairie girl, it’s true,” she said in a singsong voice that sounded like she was an opera star. After she left, Jovian hurried to ask, “She’s a lesbian?”

“No, she’s bisexual. Still, coming from a little eastern town, she doesn’t see anyone in our community. I met her when I broke down on my way through her town, and we have been friends since.”

“She’s very pretty, but she needs new clothes.”

“Jovian! Lord, boy, you’re too damn shallow. Let me walk you over to the latrines and show you what to do.”

The moment Jovian heard the word he winced like he’d been punched. “Latrine. I swear, they’re trying to break me.”

“Okay, Cool Hand Luke,” Mike said to him.

“Who?”

“Never mind. Come on.”

On the way to the bathrooms, Jovian looked it up on his phone during a moment of reception which was few and far between at the camp. “Who is that? He’s gorge!”

Mike glanced over at Jovian’s phone. “Paul Newman?”

“Are you asking me?”

Mike laughed, and that confused Jovian more. “No, no. That’s him. Old movie, old actor.”

“Oh, he’s old now?”

Mike just chuckled again.

In the small building with the latrines, there was a closet and Mike pulled out the broom, mop, bucket and sponges, then pointed to the shelf on top. “Your choice of cleaners, some people hate bleach, so there’s ammonia and some other stuff. There’s a stand there to keep people out while you’re cleaning. Clean the stalls, the tops too. Dix checks.”

That name had Jovian’s attention, even if the instructions had his mind wandering. “Dix?”

“Yeah, Coach Dix. He inspects.”

“Oh. Oh, well, good. I mean, that’s fine.”

“I’m telling you, Jovian, don’t try it. If you don’t think there are a hundred guys that have come here and tried, you’re nuts.”

“A hundred guys that couldn’t wipe the dirt off my very expensive sneakers.”

Mike had a nice smile. “Nice sneakers to work cleaning a toilet, but you do you, babe.”

“Thanks. I will.”

He found rubber gloves on the shelf and decided on the bleach, though he’d never used it. After reading the warnings alone, he went back to the shelf and tried to find something that couldn’t kill him in a heartbeat or burn his perfect skin, to no avail.

“Well, great. I guess I can just risk death to get my man.”

He got the bleach again and mixed it in the bucket, starting on the tops of the stalls first, leaning on the windowsill, the walls of the stalls and then he stared at the first toilet like it was a monster.

“How many nasty butts have been on you in the short time this place has been open?”

Of course, it didn’t answer, but Jovian just shrugged.

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