Page 16 of In Her Shadow

I stare straight back at Ren, watching him shake his head like he’s displeased and waiting for him to come over here and drag me away.

“You really are a brand new you,” Katelyn calls out to me, holding her hand out for me to high five as she grinds on her guy, and when I take a look back over to where Ren is sitting, I’m surprised, and disappointed to see that he’s not there anymore.

Suddenly, I don't feel so confident. I don’t feel safe with this guy's hands on me anymore, so I quickly pull away.

“You okay?” He looks worried. “I’m sorry, I thought–”

“I’m fine, I just need to get another drink.” I smile at him, wondering what the hell just came over me. I don’t do these kinds of things. I don’t lead men on. Did knowing that Ren was watching make me feel so invincible that I forgot all the dangers?

“Cool, I’ll come with you.” He steps up.

“No. It’s fine. I need the bathroom, too.” I rush to get away from him, heading toward the bathroom and locking myself inside a cubicle. Ren must have me believing every word he said when he promised no one would ever hurt me again. Was I just testing him? Trying to poke the bear? Ren wasn’t in the booth anymore. I didn’t see him on my way in here. What if I pushed him too far? What if I’ve screwed everything up?

I give myself some time to calm down before I step back out of the bathroom and head straight to the bar for some water. The music seems to have gotten louder, and I have to stretch on my toes and lean right across for the bartender to hear my order. I almost jump out of my skin when I feel a hand touch my shoulder.

“Hey, it’s just me. You okay?” Katelyn looks concerned as she holds up both her hands.

“I’m fine, absolutely fine.” I pull together a smile for her.

“Mark’s friend already left, and Mark’s decided to come back to my place. Are you coming too?” she offers, brushing her fingers through Mark’s stubble as she looks up at him adoringly.

“No, I’ll leave you guys to it, I’ll just get an Uber back to mine.” I take out my phone so I can get one ordered.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you.” Katelyn leans in closer so Mark can’t hear her.

“He has his fucking tongue pierced,” she whispers.

“I’ll be fine,” I assure her, taking the iced water from the barman and taking a sip. “You two have a good night.” I raise my glass up to her and smile.

“Speak tomorrow, bestie.” She kisses my cheek before they both head toward the exit, and I do another scan of the room. There’s no sign of Ren anywhere, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t here. Slipping my phone back into my purse, I decide not to bother with the Uber. I’m sober enough, and my apartment isn’t far from here. The fresh air will do me some good, and maybe, if Ren is still hanging around, he might follow me home.

I make my way out onto the street and past the doormen. Mark and Katelyn are long gone, and I start moving in the direction of my apartment. There's a passageway that goes beneath the train line, which I could use to make my journey home quicker. Usually, I’d avoid it at all costs, but when I getthat sense that I'm not alone, I feel brave and take a left to head straight for it.

I imagine Ren getting wild with agitation as I step closer to the secluded tunnel. The tension in his fingers, the rasp in his whisper. Just the thought of it gives me a rush. I can hear footsteps behind me, and as tempted as I am to turn around, I keep walking forward. This is beyond reckless, but I know it’s him. I can feel him like a sixth sense, and I like how the adrenaline feels as it pumps through my body.

I don’t scream when a firm arm wraps around my middle, dragging me backward and holding me tight against the solid body that’s behind me. Instead, I smile when I feel his breath on my neck.

“What did I tell you about walking into dark alleys?” His growl is deep and angry, so deep that I feel it vibrate in his chest.

“Must have slipped my mind.” I turn around in his arms so I’m facing him, and see the hood on the black hoodie he’s wearing is up over his head. How can something that looks so dangerous be so appealing?

“You seem to be testing me tonight, Kitten. I don’t like it.” He steps into me, forcing me back, into the darkness, until my shoulders hit a cold stone wall.

“Well, I didn’tlikeyou leaving without saying goodbye this morning,” I point out, not caring if it sounds needy, right now it seems to be my only defense.

“You let that fucker put his hands on you.” He touches my hips in exactly the same spot Mark’s friend did.

“It was just a dance,” I whisper, feeling the anger radiating off him. Instead of making me want to get away, it puts a heavy throb in the pit of my stomach.

“Tell that to the guy who’s just endured having every single one of his fingers broken.” Ren slides the tip of his nose along my jaw and breathes me in. “Do you have any idea what couldhappen to a pretty girl like you, taking a walk like this by herself?” he whispers.

I haven’t gone into much detail about my past with Ren, but I figured he must be aware of what I’ve suffered if he knows that the people who made me lose my trust in the world are dead.

“Why don’t you show me?” I taunt him. Proving to him, and to myself, that I’m not that girl anymore.

Last night, Ren told me he was the only person ever allowed to cause me pain from now on. I wasn’t sure what he meant by it, but it’s stuck in my mind and I want to find out.

“You really want that?” He twists me around roughly so the front of my body crushes against the wall, and I look back at him over my shoulder and nod.

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