Page 29 of What's Left of Me

“It’s the best kind. I said what I said, no arguments accepted.”

He huffed good-naturedly, ending it there.

“Good session?”

He shrugged. “She wanted me to try and remember anything I could about him, something I’ve suppressed. It’s so hard. She mentioned, like, hypnosis?”

Ah, yes. “She did that with Four and Two.”

“It worked?”

I wiped my hand on my pants—classy, I know—and took a sip of water. “I don’t know if it did for Two. But Four was able to unlock a lot that way, and it really was the clincher in her ability to help him heal. There was a time I would never have entertained the idea that Four would like anyone romantically—then came Lizzy, and it was amazing.”

He was silent for a few seconds, so I let him be and just enjoyed the wind on my face, and the fading sun began to dip into the sea beyond the cliffs.

“Four was held for years.”

I looked over at him; he was decimating the label on the water bottle. “You’re comparing.”

He sighed and hung his head. “It’s not the same. But how can I not compare?”

“It’s not the same—you’re right. Motive played a huge part in both of your stories.” I shifted slightly, angling toward him more. “Four was bred to be a killing machine, raised as a weapon to be pointed and set to hunt. You were taken to be broken, to be killed. Comparing your trauma to his is like saying that because I had kidney stones once, I can relate to a woman giving birth. Pain nonetheless, but the outcomes were way different.”

He glanced at me, mirth playing in his expression. “You had kidney stones?”

I gasped. “That’s what you took from my plethora of wisdom?”

He laughed, his head back and mouth wide, a genuine and beautiful laugh. “Yep.”

“I’m wasting my brilliance on you.”

He calmed down and relaxed more in his seat. “I try not to compare to anyone. It’s hard, though. One of the things he drilled into my head was how I was different from everyone in the worst possible ways. Maybe hypnosis isn’t a bad idea.”

“Aziza knows what she’s doing. If she believes it will help, I’d trust that.”

His hazel eyes met mine. “Would you…” He didn’t finish his sentence, and I found myself leaning farther in, needing him to say what he was thinking.

“Would I, what? Please ask.”

“Would you stay for it?”

“When she hypnotizes you?”

He nodded, and the vulnerability in his expression made me want to promise him the world.

“Absolutely.”

He smiled. “Thank you, Noel. You’re a surprise.”

I snorted. “Am I?”

“When all of this happened and I saw Hazel, in my heart I thought she’d be the only person I’d want to be near or talk toabout anything. No one else felt safe. I believed they all thought the worst of me, and trusting them wasn’t even in the cards. Then I came here. You’re all wonderful, but you…I dunno what it is about you Noel Saint, but I feel like nothing could touch me if you’re near.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Could I tell him I’d really love to touch him right now, feel those trembling lips, lick away the burdens that lay heavy on his body, drink in his sorrowful sighs and fill him with all the amazing feelings in the world?

I didn’t say any of that. I did reach out, glad when he took my hand, and told him, “I’m happy I can do that for you. And I promise, nothing you don’t want will get near you as long as I’m standing.”

He squeezed my hand, and we spent the next half hour watching the day pass by.

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