Page 32 of What's Left of Me

He shrugged. “I’m the giving twin.”

“Taking.” I snorted.

“Same thing.”

It wasn’t, but I decided to let him have the win.

I tilted my chin to his many monitors. “What are you doing here?”

“Everything.” He shifted a bit so I could get a better look. “The shop, the house, the grounds. Here are some socials on the Zaffys, and there’s Tor.”

“Tor?”

“Dark net. But Tor is actually a legal platform that Zaffy uses to sell his weird-ass roadkill creations.”

“Oh…eww.”

He sniggered. “Very unsettling.”

“Noel, can I ask you a favor?”

He spun around from where something had snagged his attention on the monitor.

“Of course, what’s up?”

I took a deep breath. He’d likely say no; I wasn’t really worth any favors…no, that was Adonis speaking. When I met Noel’s gaze, it was warm and inviting. He’d be truthful and kind, and if he said no, it wouldn’t hurt.

“Will you kiss me?”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Noel

“Will you kiss me?”

Of all the things I’d thought Phoenix was about to ask, that hadn’t even been in the top twenty. I was staring, barely blinking, didn’t know what to say. Did I want to kiss him? Of course. Did I want to hinder his healing? Never. Was this part of his process? Maybe saying no would be worse than saying yes.

“Oh, my God. I’m sorry, that was wrong. You may not even like men or me or…it was forward, stupid. I’m stupid.”

He was spiraling; I’d made it worse. When Phoenix stood, ready to bolt, I jumped up and carefully took his shoulders in a gentle embrace.

“Phoenix, no. I mean, no, don’t go. I was running all these scenarios in my head on how to respond.”

“Like what?” His hazel eyes shone with unshed tears—whether sadness, vulnerability, or a smattering of both, I wasn’t sure.

“Like…if I say no, will it hurt your recovery? If I say yes, like I very much want to, would that be good or bad? I…I don’t want to do anything to make what you’re going through worse.”

His smile was sweet; gone was the sad, haunted expression. “That’s exactly why I knew asking you was the right decision, Noel.”

“Really?”

“Aziza and I had been talking about you, as you know, and how safe I feel with you. I’m not in love with touch or conversation, everything in my head is a jumbled mess of fuckery, but when I sit with you, talk with you, anything at all, it quiets. I’m attracted to you, yeah, but I want to see if the most intimate touch will push me closer to who I was or farther away, and I can’t think of anyone else that makes sense with in my head and heart other than you.”

With a sigh, I cupped his slender face in the palms of my hands. I leaned in, giving him ample time to stop things, but he didn’t. Instead, right before our lips pressed together, he closed his eyes and released a whine that was heavy with relief, need, and so much want.

I was cautious to follow his lead but quickly realized that he was hoping I would. I couldn’t be sure what told me that, but it was as if I were in tune with him.

I lightly brushed my tongue over his lips and he eagerly opened, allowing me to sweep in and fuse us even deeper. His hands rested on my sides, and I felt him grip the fabric of my shirt and slightly pull me closer.

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