Page 70 of Resist

Nodding goodbye, I duck my head against the chill and hurry to the road. A taxi comes by a few minutes later, and on the way home, I stare out at the city, wondering what life will be like after. It isn’t going to be easy, since they will be busy and touring and I won’t be with them, but as long as I can still text and call, then I can wait. I can also still help them with their lyrics and support them. It will hurt seeing them climb to the top with our songs, but I’ll do it for them.

After tonight, nothing will ever be the same. I’m walking away from my dream, yet despite the sadness I feel, I know it’s right.

When I get home, the kitchen light is on. Frowning, I kick off my boots and head that way, my eyes widening when I see all of them sitting at the kitchen table. Ryker’s face is drawn, and he’s clutching a mug.

“I woke to find you gone. I panicked, thinking something bad happened again.” He takes a deep breath, and I see his hands are shaking. “I called Po. He told me you were on your way home and we needed to talk, so I woke them up.”

Strike and Dash look fully awake and just as worried. Blowing out a breath, I shrug out of my jacket, hang it on the back of the chair, and sink into it opposite Ryker. “I’m sorry I worried you, baby. I just needed to do this alone.”

“Why? Where were you?” he demands, angry now. “Do you know how scared I was? It was just like that night. I was so fucking worried.”

“I’m really sorry.” Reaching over, I unclasp his hands from the mug and kiss them. “I never meant to worry you. I just knew if you were awake, you would stop me.”

“Stop you from what?” Strike demands, meeting my gaze. “What’s going on, Fox? Is it about the suspension?”

“Did you manage to get it lifted?” Dash looks so hopeful that I can’t help but smile, and I keep Ryker’s hand in mine as I lean back.

“I did,” I admit.

“How?” Strike asks.

Ryker looks terrified, and he grips my hand like he’s worried I’m going to slip away. “Did you come back to break up with me? For the band?”

I blink incredulously, and my heart shatters when I see tears brimming in his eyes, turning them glassy and broken. Shoving my chair back, I quickly close the distance between us and sink to my knees next to his chair, dragging him down into my arms as I rub his back.

“Never,” I vow. “You’re stuck with me. Don’t ever think that.”

He shakes in my arms, and I hear him struggling to breathe. I let him calm down, and when he does, I wipe under his eyes. His smile is small and shaky but there. “Then how did you get them to listen?”

“I offered them an alternative, something they could make work,” I reply slowly as I grip his hands. It’s my turn to hold on tight now, terrified that he will walk away from me when he hears this. Licking my lips, I glance at the others and take a deep breath. “I am going to leave the band.”

The room falls silent, and I can hear my heart hammering in my ears with terror. “If I leave the band, they will lift the suspension and continue pushing us—you—to the top. Ryker and I won’t have to break up, I made sure of it, and we won’t have to hide. It’s the only way.”

“No,” Strike snaps. “Fox, what the fuck?”

“I’ll always be at your side. I’m not letting you go, but I love you enough to walk away from the band. You guys don’t need me. You’re the talent.” I glance at Ryker, and he recoils in horror.

“I’m not the talent! We all are. Without you, there is no Sanctuary. We do this together or not at all,” he scoffs.

“We could lose everything we’ve worked for,” I start, hoping they will understand.

“I don’t care!” Ry yells.

Ryker is staring at me like I’m a stranger. “This is the only way, baby. I realized something today when they told us. I can give this up. I could never touch a guitar again and I’d still have a good life as long as you were in it, but I could never give you up, so if the choice is between me walking away from the band and walking away from you, then I choose this band. This way, you get your dream, and I get you.” I smile as I kiss the back of his hands as he gapes.

“Fox, your dream?—”

“It’s an easy choice. It was always you. It’s always going to be you. I’m not going back to being just your bandmate. I can be your number one fan. I’ll be your support, but my life means nothing without you, Ryker. This way, I get you, and you get your dream,” I explain gently.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” The venom from Dash makes us all turn to look. He’s on his feet, his face angry, but there are tears in his eyes. “You think we want this without you?” His lip quivers, and Strike wraps his arm around him. “We’re a family, or do we mean so little to you?”

My heart sinks. “You know you mean everything to me.”

“Then don’t do this!” he yells. “Don’t make us go on without you. I won’t do it.”

“Dash is right. We aren’t doing this without you. Ryker, tell him,” Strike demands.

My gaze swings back to Ryker, and I smile sadly. “It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to feel guilty. We are okay?—”

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