Page 7 of Resist

“I can see that,” I murmur. “I won’t talk. You can hide here with me.”

She smiles brightly, and even I can admit how fucking beautiful she is. “What about you?” she asks. “Distract me from my own life. What are you hiding from?”

I debate what to say, but then I think,Fuck it. It’s obvious she wants her privacy too, and I don’t see her spilling my secrets. Besides, I’m betting she doesn’t even know who I am. Taking a drink, I glance at the stairs once more. “From the truth. Tonight, I realized that the person I love will never love me back or be mine, and I’ll have to watch from the sidelines for the rest of our lives as he loves everyone else but me.”

She’s quiet, and when I glance at her, Reign’s eyes are locked on me. “Are you sure? Did you ask him?”

“I don’t need to.” I offer her the bottle, and she takes a sip. “I was just being delusional. It hurts, so I’m hiding. I’m not good company tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll have to go back to being what they want, but tonight . . .”

“Tonight you want to be you.” She nods. “I get that.” She nudges my arm. “Wearing a mask all the time can be exhausting—trust me on that—and lonely too. Find someone to have in your corner.”

“Do you have someone?” I ask.

“I think so.” She glances at the ring on her finger with a contemplative look in her eyes. “Although sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes I wish I’d never found fame . . . Maybe I’d be happier.”

“A-fucking-men.” I toast her, and we both drink in silence for a while.

“If he doesn’t love you, then find someone who does. You deserve to be happy. Live your life your way, not for him, and if he really doesn’t feel the same, then he should let you know. He shouldn’t play with your feelings no matter what. That’s just a dick move.”

I nod but find myself defending him. “He’s actually nice, and he cares about everything. He’s always looking after me, but everything is changing, and I’m scared,” I tell her. “Scared it will change him, change us . . . change me.”

“Change is inevitable,” she replies. “Everyone changes—sometimes for the better, sometimes not. It’s the only constant we can actually rely on, and change can be terrifying, but sometimes it’s good too. Sometimes life gives you exactly what you need, even if you don’t know it.” She leans next to me, her arm touching mine. There is nothing sexual about it, just offering comfort. “Either way, I hope you find your happiness.”

“I hope you do too,” I say. “You don’t seem very happy, and like you said, everyone should be happy.”

She blinks at me. “I don’t seem happy?”

“Not at all,” I admit slyly. “Are you?”

She swallows hard, searching my eyes. “I don’t know.” Her voice is small, scared.

“Find out,” I tell her, “before it’s too late.” My eyes go back to the stairs inside before I turn away. “Don’t break your own heart. It fucking sucks.”

We’re quiet for a bit, both lost in our own thoughts, before she grins at me. “Want to know everyone’s dirty, funny, messy secrets? It can be intimidating coming into this world, but once you know them, it makes them so much more human, and you’ll never be scared of them. I mean, how can you be scared of Yulen Miller when you know he collects unicorns and plays with them?”

I burst into laughter, and she joins in. “What else?” I ask greedily, happy for the distraction.

“Okay, so there’s Griselda, the actress, right . . .”

FIVE

Drying my hands on my pants, I hurry down the steps before she can get her claws into me again. She dragged me upstairs, saying she needed my help going to the bathroom, and I couldn’t say no, not with all the eyes on me. I need to be the best I can manage for Fox and the others so we can make as many connections as we can, but as soon as we got upstairs, she pushed me onto one of the beds. She didn’t want me, she wanted what I stood for, and it made me feel sick. I managed to get out from under her and make an escape. I need to find Fox. I’ll stay at his side, and we can speak to some of the idols about maybe working with them.

I freeze on the bottom step, my gaze locked on the glass doors. Fox is on the balcony, laughing, and my lips want to tilt into a smile at the sight, but it’s the person he’s laughing with that bothers me.

Reign Harrow holds onto his arm, talking away, her eyes glittering as she stares up at him. I can feel the connection between them from here, and when I see her slap his side, I swallow the bile in my throat. I hurried down here, not wanting to leave him alone, and there he is, completely fine, flirting away.Did he even care when I was pulled away? Did he even look for me?

He acts like he cares and looks at me like I’m the only person in his universe, but then he does shit like this. He didn’t even stop me from being taken upstairs.

“Hey, there you are, man,” Dash calls, slapping my arm to draw my attention to him. “Have you seen Fox?” He follows my gaze and whistles. “Goddamn, did Fox pull Reign fucking Harrow? Bastard, I knew he was too much of a pretty boy. They all want him. You should see the way everyone has been asking about him.”

Stuffing down the jealousy I feel, I glance at him. “What do you mean?”

Dash clears his throat, pitching his voice high. “Oh my god, where is Fox? Is Fox with you? He’s here, right? He’s so hot. I’m obsessed.” He rolls his eyes then coughs. “That’s all I keep getting asked. It seems Fox is their superstar. I guess we all thought it was you, huh?”

“Right.” My eyes go back to Fox as he throws his head back and laughs hard at something she said. His dimples appear, something I’ve only ever seen with me.

Clearing my throat, I force a smile. “Let’s get drunk and enjoy the party.”

---