Page 51 of Resist

I yank his arm, turning him around. “Not now, baby, please,” he murmurs.

“Yes, now!” I snap. “Who the fuck was that?”

He looks at me, and I wait, furious. “My ex,” he answers.

“And why was he here? Why did you let him in and talk to him?” I ask. I’m acting crazy, but what did he mean about going back to him?

Is Fox going to leave me?

The idea makes it hard to breathe, and I implore him with my eyes to make this feeling go away.

“He wanted to talk about something, but it wasn’t important. He’s gone, and he won’t be back,” he promises.

I’m angry, really angry and jealous as hell, which is something I hate. “He seems to think he will be, that you’ll be back together.”

“You know that’s not true. I’m dating you,” he soothes, stepping closer, reaching for me, but I shove his hands away.

“How can I say anything?” I hiss. “I’m not even officially your boyfriend, everyone knows that, and I didn’t even know who he was! Evidently, I don’t matter.”

“Ry . . .” Fox sighs.

“How long did you date?” I ask. “When did you break up? Why? What did he tell you?” When he stays silent, I scoff bitterly. “You won’t even tell me? That lets me know exactly where I stand in your life. I’m good enough to fuck, but not good enough to trust, huh?”

“Ryker,” Fox snaps. “That isn’t fair, and you know it isn’t true. I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.”

I’m quiet then, my heart aching. It hurts as I stare at him. I don’t know why. I guess I always thought I was Fox’s first love, but hearing it from that bastard? It ripped me to pieces and made me unsure in our relationship, and now I’m taking it out on him.

“This is what he wants, for us to fight,” Fox says sadly as he stares at me. “Can you just hold me? Seeing him fucked me up.”

His words make all my anger disappear. Fox never asks me for anything, and seeing how troubled he is makes everything else seem stupid. Despite my own pain and uncertainty, I wrap my arms around him, and he rests his head against my chest. “I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. He just pissed me off.”

“He has that effect on people,” he grumbles, holding me tighter before he pulls away, cupping my face. “Next time, don’t let him talk to you like that, okay? You’re all that matters. I mean it, Ryker. He’s nothing to me anymore. You’re my everything. I’m sorry if that hurt you. Ask your questions, and I’ll answer. I promise.” He takes my hand and leads me over to sit, and I debate if I really want to know.

Is it better to be oblivious? That bastard might use it against me though.

I saw that look in his eyes. He doesn’t plan on going anywhere.

“Tell me everything,” I say.

We sit side by side, and Fox takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It hurts me more not knowing, like he’s worthy of knowing it and I’m not,” I admit.

“That’s not true. He is my past, Ryker, before I even met you. I don’t want you to question anything, but I’ll tell you. We metwhen we were teenagers, when he moved into my class at school. His dad owned a music shop, so I spent time there, learning to play. We grew close, and we started to date. He was my first everything.” That hurts like hell, but I try to cover it. It’s my own insecurity. He can’t help who he loved before, but I’ll admit it hurts knowing that Fox is my first love but I’m not his.

“I thought I’d marry him. I thought he was my forever, Ryker. I loved him a lot. I won’t lie about that.” He takes my hand and presses it to his chest. “But this is yours. I vow it. There is nothing left of him in there anymore. He made sure of it.”

“What happened?” I ask.

“He cheated on me. When I found out, I even forgave him. I was so young and desperate for him to love me. We graduated and were living in his shitty, one-bedroom apartment as I tried to support us, and I couldn’t bear the idea of losing him. He was all I had, Ryker—no family or friends, just him—but he did it again and again, and when I confronted him, he admitted he didn’t love me anymore and that he couldn’t stay with a ‘futureless loser fighting every day for his meals.’ He moved in with the guy he cheated on me with that very same day—some older, Wall Street motherfucker. It hurt a lot. He fucked me up with mind games and cheating, and then I turned back to music, more determined than ever to make it. I met you two years later.”

“Oh.” It’s all I can say as I process his words. His ex sounds like an asshole. How could he do that to Fox? If you don’t love someone, just leave. Why the hell did he need to cheat and break his heart and trust?

Gripping my face, he stares into my wide eyes. “But I never loved him the way I love you. I needed to lose him to find you, and I’m so fucking glad I did. This thing between us is forever. This is what I was missing. This is real love. Don’t ever doubtthat. I loved him as a kid, but I love you as a man. I’m sorry you aren’t my first love, but I swear, Ry, you will be my last.”

“I better be,” I grumble as I lean into his side, holding his hand. “I hate him,” I admit childishly.

“Good. Don’t ever let me see you insecure and cowed like that again. The Ryker I love is crazy and bold and not afraid to say anything.” He kisses my head. “Don’t change because of him. I don’t plan to. He doesn’t matter, and our past doesn’t matter. Only this does.” He lifts my chin. “I love you, baby, so much.”

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