Page 31 of Resist

My broken heart and your stubborn soul.

Please let me go.

The notes trail off. “Amazing!” Po claps. “This set is going to be so incredible. Okay, again from the top. We need this to be perfect. We only have two weeks of practice, and we won’t waste a moment.”

I finally look away, and when I do, my heart stops aching for the first time since he broke it.

FIFTEEN

All we do is practice. Fox and I barely speak, but we say a thousand words with our eyes. We sleep, eat, and breathe the set until it’s considered perfect. His new song has ripped me to pieces. It’s so raw. It’s a confession, and I don’t know how to react because of the end.

He told me to let him go, and I can’t do that.

Is Team right? Am I a coward?

Am I too late?

I’m lost and hurt and more confused than ever. No one else notices as we file into the restaurant. We start the tour tomorrow, so Po gave us tonight off and a private meal to celebrate. I sit heavily in my seat, Po on my right, no one on my left.

Fox sits between Dash and Strike opposite us, laughing at a joke they told. He’s oblivious to my suffering.

Drinks are served, and while we wait for our food, Po goes live and films us interacting and talking about the upcoming tour, trying to get everyone hyped for it.

I use the camera as an excuse to walk around the table and drape my arms around Fox and Dash as I speak, but Fox shrugsme off, and I slink back to my seat, feeling like a scolded child. He pulled away, yet he plays it off.

The camera is finally turned off, and I’m in a terrible mood as I play with my knife while the others dig into their food.

He doesn’t once look at me during the meal. He laughs and jokes with everyone, eating and talking, but he doesn’t look at me at all.

I want to scream to get his attention.

I want him to look into my eyes and tell me everything is fine . . . that nothing has changed.Please just look at me, I plead silently, but he doesn’t hear me and his gaze doesn’t turn to me.

He used to check on me all the time before, when I was the center of his world, but I’m not anymore, and I hate it. I don’t feel complete without his eyes on me. He leans into Dash, laughing hard at something he said. That laugh usually makes mine burst from my chest, but tonight mine is tight, too tight to feel anything other than pain and concern.

Something has changed dramatically between us, and I don’t know what or even how to fix it. I don’t even know what this unspoken thing between us is. We aren’t dating. I’m not his, and he isn’t mine, yet the space between us hurts so badly.

The idea that I might have lost him for good terrifies me.

I can barely breathe, never mind eat, as my eyes stay locked on him. My whole body is hot as I try to slow my breathing. My eyes start to burn and my stomach clenches in agony, yet no one notices. No one says a thing.

No one sees that I’m dying inside.

Not even him.

I’ve lost him.

The sudden realization hits me like a truck. All the time we spent dancing around this, resisting and pulling away, has finally caught up to us, and Fox has walked away. He stopped fighting.

He let me go, and it’s killing me.

I’m a bastard, I broke what we had, but I need him to fix it—fix me. I’m not myself without him.

The rest of the meal is a blur, and as we walk outside. I’m at the rear, my head lowered. I’m exhausted and so fucking tired of it all. I just want him to hold me and tell me it will be okay, but I don’t deserve it.

“Fox, where are you going? The car is this way.” Dash laughs, and I jerk my head up to see Fox with his hands in his pockets, turned toward an idling car.

“Ah, I’m going to meet with a friend. I won’t be back late,” he says.

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