Page 23 of Between the Stacks

Lowe grinned. “Well, it is a movie. What do you say?”

I exhaled. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“We’ll take it slow,” he assured me. “All I need tonight is yes or no. The rest comes later.”

“Will I lose my housing if I say no?”

“Never,” he said, shaking his head. “You can stay here for as long as you need.”

Searching his gaze, I looked for the lie. For the secrets. For the joke. There wasn’t an ounce of ill-intentions or cruelty. All I saw was the genuine concern for me. “Yes.” I closed my eyes, fearful of what I’d just agreed to and how it could go horribly wrong.

Especially if someone found out.

Before Lowe could say a word, I added, “So long as no one finds out.”

He smirked. “I’ve got you covered sweetheart. Don’t worry.”

Yeah, I’d have to see that to believe it.

Cole

We pushed too hard.

Granted, we went about it the wrong way, too. Lyra was under no obligation to believe us or want to take part in something that made her cheeks turn a shade of crimson. I didn’t think it was possible for skin to flush such a color. We saw her wheels spinning. The uncertainty in her eyes. Maybe we should have waited, I don’t know, at least a week, maybe more. Wooing was definitely called for here. Hell, getting her to accept a simple jacket so she wouldn’t freeze took an act of congress.

Telling someone they were down to fuck, just because, took balls. Offering someone so green, like Lyra, a contract to have sex with at least two guys who fucked each other while Lowe fucked Jonesy, was the definition of insanity.

Just watching her try to process the situation while we waited on bated breath to hear her answer was stressful. I couldn’t imagine how she must have felt being put on the spot. Also didn’t help that I acted like a dick, too. Coming out and telling people what we do didn’t happen frequently. Sure, if there was an adult convention, we went under Behind the Lens. Usually, it was industry professionals and fans who’d watched our channel. So, it was okay to be ourselves. Bringing someone new into the fold, putting ourselves out there in hopes of not being rejected... Maybe I still had some hang ups about that.

We weren’t talking about me, though.

The lost look in Lyra’s eyes after she agreed broke my heart. I couldn’t tell if she said yes because she was afraid of what would happen if she declined, even if Lowe told her she could stay, or if she’d wanted to join us. The unknown ate at my gut for the rest of the day. While Lowe and Jonesy worked out the details for the movie and Scott grabbed more of our stuff from the apartment, I went in search of Lyra.

When I finally found her, she was in the kitchen nook, working on something while staring out the window overlooking the gray skies and dreary backyard toward the mountains. The forecast evolved quickly over the last few hours. A storm was creeping in, and kind of fit the mood of the house. She’d propped her cheek on her palm and just zoned out. We should have done better by her.

I wasn’t sure how to approach her without scaring the shit out of her. Whatever she was thinking about had fully engrossed her. On the table in front of her was her laptop, a literature book, and a pad of paper. I spied a glance at the words in the book and smirked. On Writing—Stephen King's novel. Made me curious about which Lit class she was taking. That, however, was for another time. Right now, was all about checking on her and apologizing for the way we overwhelmed her and coerced her into signing the NDA.

“Lyra?” I called out, keeping my voice low to at least keep the sting of surprise at bay. When she didn’t answer, I placed my hand on her shoulder and tried again. “Lyra?”

She jerked, inhaling before turning to face me. Shock then embarrassment colored her features before her shoulders sagged and wariness settled in. “Oh, hey. Did you need something? Am I in the way?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I was hoping we could talk. If you don’t mind?”

“Don’t handle me with kid gloves,” she said. “I don’t want or need pity.”

I held my hands up. “I wasn’t going to. All I wanted to do was check in with you and apologize for earlier.”

She exhaled, pushing her hair from her face. “Right. Earlier. Look, I understand why no one said anything without an NDA. I wouldn’t want my roommate saying shit if I was a porn star either. I can’t imagine how many opportunities outside the industry someone could lose if the vast majority knew.”

There was a but there, I heard it in her voice. “But...”

She sighed. “But a little warning would’ve been nice.”

“We did though. I showed you the tablet with the porn...”

“Too obtuse and not very specific. How was I supposed to know that it was Lowe and Jonesy?” She had a point.

“You’re right,” I agreed. “We tried to gauge your response, so we knew whether to approach you for the project or not. You looked like shit the other night. Seemed kind of dickish to just hit you with it as soon as we walked in.”

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