Page 93 of Call It Home

We might have lost the competition, but Cameron looked like she was winning the game of life. I knew design work was her passion, and I was incredibly happy for her that this opportunity had come along. I wanted to take her up on her offer to work with her, but I didn’t want to mess things up for her. She needed someone she could count on, and right now, that wasn’t me.

“Sucks to lose.”

Or not.

I wasn’t sure why Chase was with me instead of with the group celebrating his twin. Instantly, my guard went up. If he wanted to have it out with me, that was fine. But I wasn’t going to do anything to ruin Cameron’s moment she was having now.

“It does.”

Chase leaned against the wall beside me. “I really thought you guys had it in the bag.”

I shrugged. Honestly, I’d have been more surprised if we’d won. Not because I didn’t think we weren’t the best. I was obviously biased, but I liked our house better than any of the others. They were too formal. But I guess that’s what other folks wanted. But I’d been let down so many times that I’d learned not to count on anything, especially if it involved anyone else.

“I’m sorry things aren’t working out between you and my sister.”

My head snapped up in surprise. He saw my reaction and snickered. “Oh, don’t get me wrong. I wanted to beat the shit out of you at first. I know what it feels like to have someone you care about walk away. But the difference between Cam and me is you didn’t just up and leave for no reason. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be leaving if you felt you had any other choice.”

“I wouldn’t. I love your sister. But she’s strong. She has you guys. My brother only has me. And for now, I need to see him through this.”

Chase nodded, looking across the room at his sister. “For what it’s worth, you have us, too.” He gripped my shoulder and walked off, whistling above the noise and motioning for a glass.

It seemed like a good time to slip out. A light rain had started to fall, creating a mugginess that was thick and miserable.

Either that, or I was choking on my own emotions.

Chapter37

Cam

“Where’d Mac go?”I asked no one in particular.

“Think I saw him go out the front door,” one of the lighting guys said.

I ran to the door. Sure enough, Mac had his shirt bunched up around his neck to guard against the rain that had started to fall and was walking down the street.

“I’ll be back,” I yelled, then dashed outside to try to catch him. I only got to the end of my sidewalk when I realized I wasn’t going to catch him like this. I jerked my shoes off, tossed them somewhere in my yard, and took off running in my bare feet.

He’d almost made it to his truck when I stopped and yelled. “You asshole.”

He spun around, his eyes widening at what must look like quite a sight.

“Were you really going to just leave without saying anything? Not even a goodbye?” My voice trembled with hurt and anger. “I thought you learned the lesson that I don’t like secrets or being left behind for no damn good reason.” My words hung heavy in the thick air between us.

He shoved his hands into his pocket. “I thought it would be easier,” he admitted.

“Easier?” I laughed, but it was strained and shrill with a touch of madness. “What an excuse. Easier for you, maybe. Forget the fact that maybe I still care and would worry about you.”

Thunder rumbled in the distance as he stomped to me, his face equally stormy. “It’s not an excuse. It’s the truth. And nothing about this is easy for me!” he roared, his voice raw and desperate. “I can’t bear to look into your beautiful face and tell you goodbye. I can’t handle knowing it might be the last time I ever hear your voice or feel the warmth of your touch. I would say it rips my heart out, but that would be a lie because I already gave it to you. But the emptiness it left behind has such a phantom ache it’s crushing, and it only gets worse when I’m around you—so close but untouchable. So, yeah, seeing you makes it hurt, but saying goodbye—again—is agony.”

I could only stare at him, my anger melting and washing away with the rain. “Mac, I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, my voice sounding fragile, filled with longing and sadness.

“My heart choosesyou, Cameron Allen. But I can’t hold you back. I can’t be in two places at one time. You deserve better. You’re the reason I really live, but Trey is the reason I’m alive, and he needs me. I have to help him. I wish I could give you a timeline, but I can’t. That’s why I have to let you go.”

Lightning flashed against the dark sky, highlighting his pained stare and the tremor in his jaw. My tears mixed with the rain. This wasn’t fair. But the person who was torn the most was him. I’d known plenty of sorrow, but I’d always had family to help hold me together, and I’d done the same for them. I understood Mac’s need to do the same for his brother. Wouldn’t I make a similar choice if Chase needed me? Hadn’t I done the same after Bristol’s accident? Even though I didn’t know Trey, I knew the kind of man Mac was. And that was a result of Trey’s influence on him. I felt Mac’s pain as if it were my own.

“I…I…” The rain fell harder, soaking us both. “Let me help you. Let me help you help Trey. We can figure something out together. And if that means you have to stay with him for a while, I can live with that. I can’t live without you, though.”

For a minute, I thought he was going to reject my plea. The agony that flitted across his face nearly gutted me. But then he reached out and pulled me into him. One arm wrapped around my waist, and the other slid up my back and cradled the back of my head. He stared into my eyes, a blaze in them that I swore burned its way into my soul.

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