Page 115 of Frosting and Flames

I shrug. A lot of people in town don’t lock their doors. Maybe Nick and Tanner don’t either. “At the very least, didn’thave permission.” I can’t imagine Tanner would be good enough friends with Kyle to let him in the house, especially knowing Nick’s past with him. “I… I can’t believe I didn’t trust Nick.” The tears from earlier return with a vengeance, even as I press the heels of my palms to my eyes in an attempt to stop them. “I ruined everything.”

“You didn’t.”

“Idid,” I insist. “He told me he loved me and I walked away.”

“You were blindsided. Anyone in your shoes would’ve—”

“No.” I shake my head, something frantic running through me. “I should’ve known better. I don’t deserve him.”

“Rachel, snap out of it.” Jae moves in front of me, literally snapping her fingers. “This is not the time to fall apart. Call Nick and get this straightened out.”

Right. I’ll call him. If I wasn’t so frazzled, I’d have thought of it myself.

I stand, then pause as a terrible thought occurs to me. What if Nick doesn’t forgive me? After all I’ve put him through… this one might have put us over the edge.

I blow out a shaky breath as I head to the office and pick up my phone off the desk. There’s a voicemail notification. Maybe it’s Nick.

Bringing trembling fingers up to my mouth, I listen to the message.

Hey, it’s me.

My heart leaps in my throat as I recognize Nick’s voice.

I was hoping to catch you before work, but maybe you’re screening my calls, I don’t know.

My chest squeezes tight. He sounds so worn down.

I talked to Tanner and he didn’t know anything about why… that was in my bed. I promise I’ll figure it out, though. No matter how long it takes. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Rachel…

He exhales roughly, like he’s struggling, and my throat thickens with unspent tears I force down.

I know you’re hurting right now. Probably going crazy with worry and doubt. I wish I could be there to reassure you, but… please don’t give up on us. Whatever this mess is, we’ll get through it. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I… I was hoping you were falling in love with me, too.

I am. Dear God, I am.

There’s a long pause, and he sounds more composed when he speaks again.

Anyway, I’m going in to work now. I’ll try to keep my phone on me in case you want to talk, unless I’m out on a call. I… I love you. I’ll talk to you soon.

I don’t realize how tightly I’m clutching the phone until I hang up, then immediately call Nick. Hope burns bright within me, that maybe this is salvageable if he’s still saying he loves me.

He doesn’t answer, though. Not when I call a second time, then a third.

I press a hand to my chest, overwhelmed by the powerful need to make things right. I call a fourth time, aware my actions are super stalker-ish, but hang up before the voicemail kicks in, afraid it’ll be a blubbering, nonsensical ramble.

I… I’ll go to the fire station and tell him everything. There’s no way I can wait until tomorrow to talk about this with him.

Jae and Sydney both look at me expectantly when I leave the office, and I give a little head shake. “He didn’t answer. I’m going to the fire station.”

They exchange a glance and Jae says, “How about I drive you?”

“No, I—”

“You’re shaking,” she tells me kindly, and I look down at my trembling hands to find she’s right. Okay, maybe a ride would be good.

Sydney promises she’ll be fine finishing up morning prep by herself, and I slide into the passenger seat of Jae’s hatchback, parked out front. I have my phone in a death grip, my knuckles white, but it stays silent.

“He probably didn’t realize you called,” Jae says, backing out of the space.

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